Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Croc Hunter: Rememberance
Back in 1996, or perhaps it was '97, I was watching the Discovery Channel as I so often did back then, when I saw a show that changed nature shows for me forever. The show was called something to the effect of "The World's Deadliest Snakes"; it featured an excitable Aussie on a quest to find the ten deadliest snakes in the world. All of which coincidentally enough were located in Australia. But nonetheless I loved the documentary. It wasn't just the snakes, which even then were creatures that fascinated me; it was the more the host.
At that time almost all nature shows were narrated, not hosted. This immediately set this show apart. But more than that the host was exciting and, at the time at least, seemed a little suicidal or at least reckless. He would spot a snake, then give chase, and then pick it up. In the past I had only seen snakes handled with those long snake catching sticks with the hook on the end or by pinning the head and then securely holding it. The host explained that he didn't do this because he didn't want to hurt the snake or put any undo stress on it. Seemed wild at the time, but I really admire that now. He simply held the snake by the end of its tail, not securing those deadly heads at all. When they would strike at him he would simply dance out of the way. The top of this Australian's list of deadly snakes was the Fear snake. A snake whose bite is so deadly that unless antivenin is administered within the hour it is almost always fatal. The energetic Aussie lay down on the ground in front of the snake's hole and while he was talking it slithered out and face to face with the man. The man stilled and became quiet instantly. The snake stuck around for a moment even crawling part of the way in the man's shirt, then left and went about its business. To me, at the time, the man seemed to escape death by the merest breath. This exciting new TV personality seemed one ill timed twitch away from having his new career snuffed out.
A few months later a friend of mine I had watched the documentary with told me that the man had gotten his own TV show on Animal Planet. This at the time was such a young network that no cable company carried it. I thought this was great and hoped I would get to see it. We will never know for sure, but it could be argued that the only reason that Animal Planet survived those first couple of years was because of Steve Irwin, The Crocodile Hunter.
When Animal Planet finally came to me, I drank in every episode of his show eagerly. Even watching them repeatedly in rerun. I was an instant and huge fan. I had always had a special place in my heart for the less cuddly creatures and the enthusiasm Steve had for these animals mirrored my own feelings. It is hard for me to express in words how greatly and deeply his passion affected me. The best I can do is to tell you that I briefly considered both herpetology and wildlife biology as majors when I returned to school, only letting go of these ideas when I realized they would not present the best means of supporting my family. But the seeds of this dream were planted and nurtured by Steve Irwin. Those closest to me probably have some idea of how highly I held the Croc Hunter. One year I received a gift of a toy Crocodile Hunter with one of his crocs, Agro if youre interested. You could press a button on his chest that was disguised as shirt pocket and he would say, "Crikey! What a rippah!". One year there was a contest on Animal Planet to win a trip to Australia to work alongside Steve Irwin in his zoo. I don't usually pay attention to contests, but I entered that one, and dreamed of winning.
I was a fan not just because he was fun to watch, but because of what he stood for. The animals he stood up for were not monsters; they were beautiful in their own way and had as much right to live as the fluffy, cuddly animals. The crocodile is a creature of great awe, an animal so perfectly designed it has existed unchanged since the age of the dinosaur. We shouldn't let fear destroy these animals.
Steve Irwin's popularity amazed me or at least the depth of it anyway. He became so popular that one had to merely utter the word, "Crikey" and you were doing a Croc Hunter impression. He was spoofed on a great variety of shows from South Park to Whose Line Is It Anyway. If mockery is truly the highest form of flattery, then Steve Irwin is most assuredly a loved legend. In the late nineties through the early two-thousands there was an explosion of nature shows. The hosted kind and one can not deny that this was ushered in by The Crocodile Hunter. At one time Steve himself had three different regular shows on the air; The Crocodile Hunter, The Crocodile Hunter Diaries, and Croc Files. And suddenly Animal Planet was full of lots of new faces doing their best to be the Croc Hunter, Jeff Corwin, Mark Oshea, Steve Austin, and many more with varying degrees of success. I dont doubt their passion and authenticity, but none of them were the Croc Hunter. And I have to wonder how many of them would have ever been given a chance if Steve Irwin had not opened the door for them. None of them seemed to have the same air about them as Steve, nor that aura of invincibility. Most of them you just knew that any second they would be bitten by their quarry, with Steve after a few episodes you no longer expected him to be bitten and it was almost a surprise on the few occasions when he was. When watching Steve do his thing you knew he had been doing this his whole life, more than that, you knew he was born to do it.
What have we lost in the wake of Steve Irwins tragic death? We have lost a great individual who stood for a noble cause. A man who tried to educate us, as well as entertain us, on the unrecognized beauty so that we didnt continue to destroy in blind terror. Although our loss can not even begin to compare to that of his family and friends, we still will feel the sting of loss. We will feel it in absence. In the absence of the exciting, respected voice that will no longer be there to speak for those that can't speak for themselves. It saddens my heart to know that I will never get to see The Crocodile Hunter jump on the back of a twenty foot croc or hold a venomous Black Mamba by the tail. He seemed so immortal and invincible, but now the truth comes home. And in this case the truth is a terrible thing and bitter pill to swallow.
At that time almost all nature shows were narrated, not hosted. This immediately set this show apart. But more than that the host was exciting and, at the time at least, seemed a little suicidal or at least reckless. He would spot a snake, then give chase, and then pick it up. In the past I had only seen snakes handled with those long snake catching sticks with the hook on the end or by pinning the head and then securely holding it. The host explained that he didn't do this because he didn't want to hurt the snake or put any undo stress on it. Seemed wild at the time, but I really admire that now. He simply held the snake by the end of its tail, not securing those deadly heads at all. When they would strike at him he would simply dance out of the way. The top of this Australian's list of deadly snakes was the Fear snake. A snake whose bite is so deadly that unless antivenin is administered within the hour it is almost always fatal. The energetic Aussie lay down on the ground in front of the snake's hole and while he was talking it slithered out and face to face with the man. The man stilled and became quiet instantly. The snake stuck around for a moment even crawling part of the way in the man's shirt, then left and went about its business. To me, at the time, the man seemed to escape death by the merest breath. This exciting new TV personality seemed one ill timed twitch away from having his new career snuffed out.
A few months later a friend of mine I had watched the documentary with told me that the man had gotten his own TV show on Animal Planet. This at the time was such a young network that no cable company carried it. I thought this was great and hoped I would get to see it. We will never know for sure, but it could be argued that the only reason that Animal Planet survived those first couple of years was because of Steve Irwin, The Crocodile Hunter.
When Animal Planet finally came to me, I drank in every episode of his show eagerly. Even watching them repeatedly in rerun. I was an instant and huge fan. I had always had a special place in my heart for the less cuddly creatures and the enthusiasm Steve had for these animals mirrored my own feelings. It is hard for me to express in words how greatly and deeply his passion affected me. The best I can do is to tell you that I briefly considered both herpetology and wildlife biology as majors when I returned to school, only letting go of these ideas when I realized they would not present the best means of supporting my family. But the seeds of this dream were planted and nurtured by Steve Irwin. Those closest to me probably have some idea of how highly I held the Croc Hunter. One year I received a gift of a toy Crocodile Hunter with one of his crocs, Agro if youre interested. You could press a button on his chest that was disguised as shirt pocket and he would say, "Crikey! What a rippah!". One year there was a contest on Animal Planet to win a trip to Australia to work alongside Steve Irwin in his zoo. I don't usually pay attention to contests, but I entered that one, and dreamed of winning.
I was a fan not just because he was fun to watch, but because of what he stood for. The animals he stood up for were not monsters; they were beautiful in their own way and had as much right to live as the fluffy, cuddly animals. The crocodile is a creature of great awe, an animal so perfectly designed it has existed unchanged since the age of the dinosaur. We shouldn't let fear destroy these animals.
Steve Irwin's popularity amazed me or at least the depth of it anyway. He became so popular that one had to merely utter the word, "Crikey" and you were doing a Croc Hunter impression. He was spoofed on a great variety of shows from South Park to Whose Line Is It Anyway. If mockery is truly the highest form of flattery, then Steve Irwin is most assuredly a loved legend. In the late nineties through the early two-thousands there was an explosion of nature shows. The hosted kind and one can not deny that this was ushered in by The Crocodile Hunter. At one time Steve himself had three different regular shows on the air; The Crocodile Hunter, The Crocodile Hunter Diaries, and Croc Files. And suddenly Animal Planet was full of lots of new faces doing their best to be the Croc Hunter, Jeff Corwin, Mark Oshea, Steve Austin, and many more with varying degrees of success. I dont doubt their passion and authenticity, but none of them were the Croc Hunter. And I have to wonder how many of them would have ever been given a chance if Steve Irwin had not opened the door for them. None of them seemed to have the same air about them as Steve, nor that aura of invincibility. Most of them you just knew that any second they would be bitten by their quarry, with Steve after a few episodes you no longer expected him to be bitten and it was almost a surprise on the few occasions when he was. When watching Steve do his thing you knew he had been doing this his whole life, more than that, you knew he was born to do it.
What have we lost in the wake of Steve Irwins tragic death? We have lost a great individual who stood for a noble cause. A man who tried to educate us, as well as entertain us, on the unrecognized beauty so that we didnt continue to destroy in blind terror. Although our loss can not even begin to compare to that of his family and friends, we still will feel the sting of loss. We will feel it in absence. In the absence of the exciting, respected voice that will no longer be there to speak for those that can't speak for themselves. It saddens my heart to know that I will never get to see The Crocodile Hunter jump on the back of a twenty foot croc or hold a venomous Black Mamba by the tail. He seemed so immortal and invincible, but now the truth comes home. And in this case the truth is a terrible thing and bitter pill to swallow.
Thursday, May 11, 2006
I Love Bush
For those of you that know me well, you know that I am a football fanatic. I love all football and will watch most any game that comes on if it is interesting. But I bleed black and gold, I have been a New Orleans Saints fan all my life. That has always been a thankless job as any other Saint fan could attest to. But that has all changed in one off-season.
I have seen the Saints have some productive off-season in the past. Off-season where they signed Joe Horn, off-season where they have picked up La’Roi Glover, off-season where they drafted Ricky Williams and Deuce McCallister. But this Off-season has been the best for the franchise EVER! First the pick up of Drew Brees through free agency, an underrated addition. The Saints get a lot of credit for that, but not nearly the credit they deserve. Drew Brees instantly made our offense one of the most explosive in league. He adds consistency and good judgement to a position where we have had neither over the last few years. It could be argued that he lacks Aaron Brook’s raw talent. Brooks had tons of talent, but lacked that ability to ever have it translate into success. I will say this for Brooks though, his first season as a New Orleans Saints quarterback was an amazing season, since then his career and the Saints records have done nothing but go downhill. For those of you that are interested, Brooks was released by the Saints and is now an Oakland Raider. The place where a lot of players have managed to revitalize their careers and since that is an AFC team I wish him all the luck. It should be a good fit for him there.
If the Drew Brees acquisition had been the only big pick up this off-season we as Saints fans could have declared the off-season a success, but for what maybe the first time ever, the football gods have smiled on the Saints. Ever since the draft order was known and we knew the Houston Texans were going to have the first pick it has always been assumed they would take Reggie Bush with the first pick. Assumed really is too light of a word to use here, I followed all the pre-draft reporting quite thoroughly, since the Saints were picking second. I must have read every single mock draft, and I never saw one, not one that did not have the Texans taking Bush. Why wouldn’t they?
Reggie Bush is possibly the most exciting player to come out of college football in my lifetime. He has been compared to Gale Sayers and Barry Sanders. But he is really a different kind of player than either one of them. Those comparisons are made because Bush is fast, has great vision, and can change direction on a dime. He is coming into the NFL listed as a running back, but that label does not do justice. Reggie Bush scores touchdowns in too many ways to just be considered a running back. He returns punt and kickoffs, he lines up in the slot as a receiver, catches passes out of the backfield, and he also runs the football. On any given play he can explode and run for seventy or eighty yards. And if he gets into the secondary, nobody is catching him. He is a once in lifetime kind of player that makes his whole team better and causes severe match-up problems for the opposition.
We may never know the true motivation as to why the Texans passed on Bush, it could be the rent scandal his family was involved with the week before the draft or it could be just to save money, but we do know this, they didn’t pass on Reggie Bush and draft Mario Williams because they thought it would make their team better. That line of thinking just doesn’t make any sense. The best person available makes your team better. That was the Saints line of thinking anyway. Did we need a running back, no. Deuce McCallister is our running back, a great running back that we are happy to have. And he will be listed as the starting running back at the opening of the season. In fact this situation is not a lot different than the one Bush had at USC, he was not the only running back there, LenDale White led the team in rushing yards, but Bush led the team with all purpose yards. Mark my words, that is exactly what will happen in New Orleans too, McCallister will lead in rushing, Bush will lead in all purpose.
But there is something more important that Bush brings to New Orleans. Chris Berman of ESPN said after the Saints drafted Bush, "Congratulation New Orleans, you are now on the football map." If you want an idea of what he meant by that just look at Atlanta since drafting Michael Vick. People all over the country wear Vick jersey’s and root for the Falcons because of Michael Vick, same thing for Brett Farve and the Packers. Reggie Bush will and already is doing that for New Orleans. Season ticket orders shot through the roof after the draft, people are already going online and ordering Reggie Bushes Saints jersey, in fact Reebok is already reporting they have sold 15,000 Reggie Bush jerseys sold, and he doesn’t even have a number yet. Hopefully though it will be 5, I could write a whole other blog on that though. He has, without even playing a down in the NFL, completely revitalized the market of my favorite sports team. For that alone he is now my favorite athlete and I will ordering my Reggie Bush jersey this summer, I may even get a little one for my son so we can wear them together on game day.
Monday, April 24, 2006
Peter Jackson Beat Me Up
This review is a little late coming. I watched King Kong a couple of weeks ago. But you will have to pardon me because it has taken me over two weeks to catch my breath and get my heart rate down.
I spent the first hour of this movie wondering if anything was going to happen and when? And spent the last five hours wondering if it was ever going to stop? The ride this movie carries you on is unreal. There is a great build up in the beginning, which was not boring, but seems so in retrospect. Peter Jackson paints a beautiful landscape before he unleashes his beast upon it. Setting the stage with wonderful shots, most memorably of the ship and the sea and of course the creepy skull island. He smartly establishes his actors very firmly before allowing the monkey to steal the rest of the movie. This way you look back on the film and think Jack Black, Naomi Watts, and Adrien Brody did a fantastic job. If the ape would have came in sooner you would barely remember their characters though. Naomi Watts really stands out in this movie because she really brought her character to life. She stands by her morals early on and displays an always believable and endearing emotional capacity throughout the entire film. I can't say I have been a fan of hers in movies past like I was with Adrien Brody and Jack Black, both of whom I remember fondly from other pictures. Naomi Watts has made many pictures most of which I have never had any interest in watching. The only real point of reference I had for her going into the movie was The Ring, a movie which I loathed but thought she did an okay job in. But she did a great job in King Kong of establishing herself as an up and coming actress, by playing an actress who is trying to be up and coming.
Now the second part of the movie. I don't know what to write here. I really don't. It was simply amazing. Kong shows up in the movie with still two hours to go, but those are two hours you barely notice. There is no chance to turn and look at the clock, or desire to. When Peter Jackson decides to start throwing punches he doesn't quit. Peter Jackson is also not content to just physically excite you, he excites you emotionally. Getting you behind characters and leaving cheering and screaming at your television. The battle between the one hundred T-rexes and Kong was not only intense, Jackson did a fantastic job of making it harrowing by letting you experience it not just from Kong's perspective, but from Ann's also. Later you found yourself cheering for Adrien Brody in his attempts to rescue Ann, but at the same time you felt pity for Kong.
There is little I can say about the special effects that hasn't already been said. Peter Jackson is the new Steven Speilberg and George Lucas. Only he may actually be better. Kong looked and acted so real that during the movie you could actually suspend belief and accept that there might be an island somewhere with a giant ape on it. But to continue to harp on the emotional aspect, Kong's emotional depth is what really brought him to life. His curiosity at finding Ann. His rage at those who would take her away, and in what maybe my favorite scene his humor at watching Ann amuse him. I am not sure who should get the credit for all that, Peter Jackson, Andy Serkis, or maybe just the CGI team, but bravo.
The single biggest surprise of the movie was the ending. Yes I knew how the movie would end, but what amazed me was that even knowing this I was touched by the ending. It was very sad and very beautiful. This was Naomi Watts finest moment in the movie, she was the one who really sold the end, although once again that deeper emotion than I was expecting was right there in Kong.
One criticism of King Kong I have heard it that it was just "too much". I can see that and can understand how that would hurt the movie for some. That too much factor was a good reason why I loved it. Too much makes me want to see it again to see all that I missed. Too much was a nice surprise when so many movies offer too little. But it does make it hard for anything to stand out in a movie with too much.
One last thing, for all my pop culture knowledge, for all my ability to notice sublte influences in other movies, for all my expertness on picking up the roots and branches of films. I never realized until I watched this version of King Kong that Jurassic Park: The Lost World was a homage to King Kong. How did I not notice that? That couldn't be more obvious and yet somehow I missed it? My powers, they are failing.
I spent the first hour of this movie wondering if anything was going to happen and when? And spent the last five hours wondering if it was ever going to stop? The ride this movie carries you on is unreal. There is a great build up in the beginning, which was not boring, but seems so in retrospect. Peter Jackson paints a beautiful landscape before he unleashes his beast upon it. Setting the stage with wonderful shots, most memorably of the ship and the sea and of course the creepy skull island. He smartly establishes his actors very firmly before allowing the monkey to steal the rest of the movie. This way you look back on the film and think Jack Black, Naomi Watts, and Adrien Brody did a fantastic job. If the ape would have came in sooner you would barely remember their characters though. Naomi Watts really stands out in this movie because she really brought her character to life. She stands by her morals early on and displays an always believable and endearing emotional capacity throughout the entire film. I can't say I have been a fan of hers in movies past like I was with Adrien Brody and Jack Black, both of whom I remember fondly from other pictures. Naomi Watts has made many pictures most of which I have never had any interest in watching. The only real point of reference I had for her going into the movie was The Ring, a movie which I loathed but thought she did an okay job in. But she did a great job in King Kong of establishing herself as an up and coming actress, by playing an actress who is trying to be up and coming.
Now the second part of the movie. I don't know what to write here. I really don't. It was simply amazing. Kong shows up in the movie with still two hours to go, but those are two hours you barely notice. There is no chance to turn and look at the clock, or desire to. When Peter Jackson decides to start throwing punches he doesn't quit. Peter Jackson is also not content to just physically excite you, he excites you emotionally. Getting you behind characters and leaving cheering and screaming at your television. The battle between the one hundred T-rexes and Kong was not only intense, Jackson did a fantastic job of making it harrowing by letting you experience it not just from Kong's perspective, but from Ann's also. Later you found yourself cheering for Adrien Brody in his attempts to rescue Ann, but at the same time you felt pity for Kong.
There is little I can say about the special effects that hasn't already been said. Peter Jackson is the new Steven Speilberg and George Lucas. Only he may actually be better. Kong looked and acted so real that during the movie you could actually suspend belief and accept that there might be an island somewhere with a giant ape on it. But to continue to harp on the emotional aspect, Kong's emotional depth is what really brought him to life. His curiosity at finding Ann. His rage at those who would take her away, and in what maybe my favorite scene his humor at watching Ann amuse him. I am not sure who should get the credit for all that, Peter Jackson, Andy Serkis, or maybe just the CGI team, but bravo.
The single biggest surprise of the movie was the ending. Yes I knew how the movie would end, but what amazed me was that even knowing this I was touched by the ending. It was very sad and very beautiful. This was Naomi Watts finest moment in the movie, she was the one who really sold the end, although once again that deeper emotion than I was expecting was right there in Kong.
One criticism of King Kong I have heard it that it was just "too much". I can see that and can understand how that would hurt the movie for some. That too much factor was a good reason why I loved it. Too much makes me want to see it again to see all that I missed. Too much was a nice surprise when so many movies offer too little. But it does make it hard for anything to stand out in a movie with too much.
One last thing, for all my pop culture knowledge, for all my ability to notice sublte influences in other movies, for all my expertness on picking up the roots and branches of films. I never realized until I watched this version of King Kong that Jurassic Park: The Lost World was a homage to King Kong. How did I not notice that? That couldn't be more obvious and yet somehow I missed it? My powers, they are failing.
Monday, April 17, 2006
Brokeback Mountain: A Chick Flick With No Chicks
Okay, it had women in it. In fact, despite being a gay cowboy movie, it had boobies in it too. Not only did it have boobies it had Anne Hathaway's boobies. If you don't know her by name she is that bubbly girl from such Disney movies as The Princess Diaries and Ella Enchanted. I would have to assume that exposing your breasts in a gay cowboy movie means you have to give up the right to be in Disney movies for the rest of your life.
I knew from the get go that this movie was not going to be easy for me to watch. As liberal as I am, and as non-homophobic, I still find it to be a little gross for two men to be kissing. And this movie worked quickly to not alleveate these fears. Not more than twenty minutes into the film there were Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal kissing and buggering each other. Luckily the roughest stuff to watch was over early. I would compare this to Saving Private Ryan in that sense. Sure there was a bit of gore throughout Saving Private Ryan, but they packed the worst hardest to watch stuff right at the beginning. Brokeback Mountain did this too, the first thirty to forty-five minutes was uncomfortable to say the least. The rest of the movie was about this theme, but it was blessedly free of the most uncomfortable stuff, you know, like two guys buggering each other.
I didn't hate the movie, but I didn't like it either. In the end it was just a romance movie. A romance combined with a tragedy. Let me give praise where praise is due though first. Heath Ledger was amazing. Until this movie I didn't like Ledger and did not think him much of an actor, but his performance is amazing and totally believable. Gyllenhaal was good, but nothing special. The other notable performance was Michelle Williams as Ennis Del Mar's(Ledger) wife Alma. She unfortunately suspects what is going on between her husband and his fishing buddy and spends the movie in anguish grappling with this knowledge. Her character is as tragic and the two lovers who can never really be together. Ang Lee's direction was simply beautiful. The shots of the landscapes and the scenery were breathtaking. The music was so perfectly blended in the movie that it affected your emotions and much as the performances did. My only complaint to Mr. Lee would be that the film was about thirty or forty minutes too long. My wife lost all interest by the time end came. And it was a great ending, not the best I have ever seen, but a great ending nonetheless. I was almost as bored as my wife, but I did find myself touched by the end of the film. Without that ending the movie would have slipped below mediocricy, but the end elevated it to atleast average in my opinion.
It was boring, despite the good characters it was very boring at one point. When you even try to remember the movie after watching it you can't recall what happened for about an hour and a half in the middle of the movie, because it seemed to go nowhere very slowly. The beginning of the movie does not prepare you or set the groundwork for Ennis's and Jack's romance. One night the two characters are lying in a tent. Not more than three or four days from having met. One minute they are asleep the next they are buggering each other. That is far from the reluctant setup you would expect from outdoorsmen in an era of sexual repression. Also, I have a social objection to this movie. First let me state that I am a liberal. Why should we be praising and feeling sorry for these characters and there love we dare not speak of. When they first meet Ennis is engaged to be married. After their wild summer and by the time the two meet again both men are married with children. For years after they carry on this secret affair. Maybe I am looking at this all wrong, but an affair is still an affair even if you are having sex with someone of the same gender. I know the morals of our country are always questionable, but isn't sleeping around on your wife still a bad thing. I do realize that these two didn't feel they could ever be together and they tried to get on with their lives and be as normal as possible, but their wives are paying the price for societies bigotry and their husbands lusts. But like I said maybe I am missing the point somewhere. I am all for gay rights and social acceptance and I am glad this movie brought those issues to the forefront for a while. I am most hopeful that the movie can touch some of the people that see homosexuality as wrong and maybe make them rethink these thoughts. But if you are just looking for a good, entertaining movie, maybe you should rent King Kong instead.
I hoped I could write this article with out bringing up the word Oscar, but I can't I have to say this. The Academy of voters got everything comepletly right. Ang Lee won for best director and as well he should have. The movie was beautiful and wonderfully shot. Paul Haggis did a great job with Crash, but Ang Lee did a better job with Brokeback Mountain. Crash was the better of the two pictures on almost every level. People want to attribute social signifigance to Brokeback, but it is not as strong laid out in the movie as you have been led to believe. You don't watch this movie and think, "Damn, why can't society be more accepting of homosexuals?" You simply think, "Damn, was that sad." Crash left you think and pondering the way you interact and think of people of different races, and isn't that what a socially signifigant movie does, leave you thinking and questioning. Crash was more entertaining and while that isn't the only factor, to me it is the most important. Crash has excitement, a little humor, and scenes that leave you an emotional wreck, "Thank god for invisible magic capes." When you watch Crash you feel you watched something important, when you watch Brokeback Mountain you feel like you watched a slightly above average romantic tragedy.
I knew from the get go that this movie was not going to be easy for me to watch. As liberal as I am, and as non-homophobic, I still find it to be a little gross for two men to be kissing. And this movie worked quickly to not alleveate these fears. Not more than twenty minutes into the film there were Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal kissing and buggering each other. Luckily the roughest stuff to watch was over early. I would compare this to Saving Private Ryan in that sense. Sure there was a bit of gore throughout Saving Private Ryan, but they packed the worst hardest to watch stuff right at the beginning. Brokeback Mountain did this too, the first thirty to forty-five minutes was uncomfortable to say the least. The rest of the movie was about this theme, but it was blessedly free of the most uncomfortable stuff, you know, like two guys buggering each other.
I didn't hate the movie, but I didn't like it either. In the end it was just a romance movie. A romance combined with a tragedy. Let me give praise where praise is due though first. Heath Ledger was amazing. Until this movie I didn't like Ledger and did not think him much of an actor, but his performance is amazing and totally believable. Gyllenhaal was good, but nothing special. The other notable performance was Michelle Williams as Ennis Del Mar's(Ledger) wife Alma. She unfortunately suspects what is going on between her husband and his fishing buddy and spends the movie in anguish grappling with this knowledge. Her character is as tragic and the two lovers who can never really be together. Ang Lee's direction was simply beautiful. The shots of the landscapes and the scenery were breathtaking. The music was so perfectly blended in the movie that it affected your emotions and much as the performances did. My only complaint to Mr. Lee would be that the film was about thirty or forty minutes too long. My wife lost all interest by the time end came. And it was a great ending, not the best I have ever seen, but a great ending nonetheless. I was almost as bored as my wife, but I did find myself touched by the end of the film. Without that ending the movie would have slipped below mediocricy, but the end elevated it to atleast average in my opinion.
It was boring, despite the good characters it was very boring at one point. When you even try to remember the movie after watching it you can't recall what happened for about an hour and a half in the middle of the movie, because it seemed to go nowhere very slowly. The beginning of the movie does not prepare you or set the groundwork for Ennis's and Jack's romance. One night the two characters are lying in a tent. Not more than three or four days from having met. One minute they are asleep the next they are buggering each other. That is far from the reluctant setup you would expect from outdoorsmen in an era of sexual repression. Also, I have a social objection to this movie. First let me state that I am a liberal. Why should we be praising and feeling sorry for these characters and there love we dare not speak of. When they first meet Ennis is engaged to be married. After their wild summer and by the time the two meet again both men are married with children. For years after they carry on this secret affair. Maybe I am looking at this all wrong, but an affair is still an affair even if you are having sex with someone of the same gender. I know the morals of our country are always questionable, but isn't sleeping around on your wife still a bad thing. I do realize that these two didn't feel they could ever be together and they tried to get on with their lives and be as normal as possible, but their wives are paying the price for societies bigotry and their husbands lusts. But like I said maybe I am missing the point somewhere. I am all for gay rights and social acceptance and I am glad this movie brought those issues to the forefront for a while. I am most hopeful that the movie can touch some of the people that see homosexuality as wrong and maybe make them rethink these thoughts. But if you are just looking for a good, entertaining movie, maybe you should rent King Kong instead.
I hoped I could write this article with out bringing up the word Oscar, but I can't I have to say this. The Academy of voters got everything comepletly right. Ang Lee won for best director and as well he should have. The movie was beautiful and wonderfully shot. Paul Haggis did a great job with Crash, but Ang Lee did a better job with Brokeback Mountain. Crash was the better of the two pictures on almost every level. People want to attribute social signifigance to Brokeback, but it is not as strong laid out in the movie as you have been led to believe. You don't watch this movie and think, "Damn, why can't society be more accepting of homosexuals?" You simply think, "Damn, was that sad." Crash left you think and pondering the way you interact and think of people of different races, and isn't that what a socially signifigant movie does, leave you thinking and questioning. Crash was more entertaining and while that isn't the only factor, to me it is the most important. Crash has excitement, a little humor, and scenes that leave you an emotional wreck, "Thank god for invisible magic capes." When you watch Crash you feel you watched something important, when you watch Brokeback Mountain you feel like you watched a slightly above average romantic tragedy.
Monday, April 03, 2006
I Believe This is One of the Signs of the Apocalypse
A transcript of a momumental event has come into my possession and I want to share it with. The setting is the apartment of John Heffernan. Late one night about two years ago he was hanging out with a friend of his, David Dalessandro.
[Something being lit and inhaled, although both men are known non-smokers]
John: Hey dude, got some big news.
David: Really, what?
John: You are not going to believe this man.
[inhaling]
David: Stop dicking around and tell me man.
John: New Line Cinema just gave me a shitload of money to write a movie.
David: Kick ass, what movie, what's it about?
John: Don't know, they said they didn't care, they would make whatever I gave them.
David: Well, surely you got some kind of idea what they want?
[more inhaling and coughing]
John: No really man, they don't care. They said the movie business is going right down the crapper and I think they blame themselves. So they decided to take themselves out of the equation and just let someone else take a shot.
David: Wow, that is awesome, but why you?
John: Same reason I just gave, they want new blood, someone fresh.
David: But John, you have never wrote anything. I mean back in high school I know you did some writing for your school paper. I mean was it any good, can you write?
John: Nah, I sucked at it then and I can't imagine that I would be any good now. Besides they said all I had to do was come up with the idea and write a rough draft they would get someone else with a little background in writing to help me out.
David: John, this is so awesome, congratulations.
John: Yeah, I know, and you know what man.
[more inhaling]
David: Huh?
John: I want you to help.
David: Wait John, I have never written anything in my life, nothing.
John: How many times do I have to tell you it don't matter. I got a lot of money and I am offering it to you just to help me come up with an idea. So you in?
David: Well,....sure, why not.
John: Great.
[long silence]
David: John
[silence]
David: John!
John: Sorry I kinda zoned out there for a minute.
David: When do you want to do this.
John: Hell, let's go ahead and get this over with tonight.
David: Tonight, John we can't do this in one night.
John: The hell we can't, I ain't gonna waste days pouring over this for a few million bucks.
David: John?
John: Forget man, let's get started the quicker we get this over with the quicker I can go to sleep. First, we need a setting.
David: How bout New York.
John: Nah, that will be too much work. You have to secure sections of the town you are going to shoot in and getting all those extras. Somewhere smaller so we don't have to change sets alot. Somewhere where we can only have a few people, less than a hundred.
David: How about a train?
John: Nope, too romantic. Too roomy too.
David: Plane?
[inhaling]
John: Perfect. So we have a place. what is going on there?
David: Damn that's big question.
John: Yeah I know, but keep it simple. I don 't want a complicated plot. Just somebody trying to kill someone else. Things like that.
[long silence and more inhaling]
John: I got it. One man is trying to kill another man.
David: It took you all that time to think of that. What's the hook?
John: Hook?
David: What makes this different from any other movie about killing a man.
John: Since when do movies have to be unique or original?
David: I got it maybe the one man is using a wierd weapon to kill the other man.
John: Okay, Okay. I am with you so far.
David: What if it is a tiger?
John: On a plane, what are you smoking?
[both men laugh heartily]
John: I do like the animal idea though, but go smaller.
David: Rats
John: No
David: Snakes
John: No, ..... wait. Snakes sure that could work. CGI snakes though.
David: Of course, who wants to spend all day around real snakes, probably couldn't get them to do what you wanted anyway. Besides with all the money were getting paid we can make some little snakes look good. Have you seen what Peter Jackson is doing with a giant ape.
John: We could make them look real, but that take time and money. I don't think I want to spend money on that and I know I don't want to take the time to do it right, that could take over a year in post.
David: So we have snakes on a plane, what are we going to call it.
[silence]
John: Snakes on a Plane.
David: Yeah, what are we going to call it.
John: Snakes on a Plane, that's what we are going to call it.
David: Simple and catchy I like it. But still?
John: What?
David: This is pretty stupid.
John: Yeah, so.
David: The studio will be upset if it doesn't make some money. People aren't going to watch it when they hear how stupid it is and see how bad the effects are.
John: Well, tell you what. Let's get a recognizable star to be in it.
David: Well, it can't be anybody to picky.
John: True.
[inhaling and silence]
John: Hey, I got it. Who has been in more movies since 1990 than any other actor.
David: Don't know?
John: Well, does these help, Amos and Andrew, Fluke, The Great White Hype, Shaft, The Man.
David: Wait, Sameul L. Jackson.
John: Sure why not, he made Deep Blue Sea, and that could have been called Sharks on a Ship.
David: You know you maybe right, I bet he would do it.
John: Sure he would, now where is your computer let's write this down.
[sounds of typing and murmuring]
Forty-five minutes later.
John: Well, that should do it.
David: Damn, we wrote it all in under an hour. Do you think this is how most movies get started.
John: David, have you been to the movies lately? I think we put in more work on this than most filmmakers do.
[yawning]
John: Well, that's all for me, I am going to bed. I'll call New Line tomorrow.
David: I'm going then. Call me when we need to meet with them.
I only wish the preceding transcript was a work of fiction.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0417148/maindetails
John: Hey dude, got some big news.
David: Really, what?
John: You are not going to believe this man.
David: Stop dicking around and tell me man.
John: New Line Cinema just gave me a shitload of money to write a movie.
David: Kick ass, what movie, what's it about?
John: Don't know, they said they didn't care, they would make whatever I gave them.
David: Well, surely you got some kind of idea what they want?
John: No really man, they don't care. They said the movie business is going right down the crapper and I think they blame themselves. So they decided to take themselves out of the equation and just let someone else take a shot.
David: Wow, that is awesome, but why you?
John: Same reason I just gave, they want new blood, someone fresh.
David: But John, you have never wrote anything. I mean back in high school I know you did some writing for your school paper. I mean was it any good, can you write?
John: Nah, I sucked at it then and I can't imagine that I would be any good now. Besides they said all I had to do was come up with the idea and write a rough draft they would get someone else with a little background in writing to help me out.
David: John, this is so awesome, congratulations.
John: Yeah, I know, and you know what man.
David: Huh?
John: I want you to help.
David: Wait John, I have never written anything in my life, nothing.
John: How many times do I have to tell you it don't matter. I got a lot of money and I am offering it to you just to help me come up with an idea. So you in?
David: Well,....sure, why not.
John: Great.
David: John
David: John!
John: Sorry I kinda zoned out there for a minute.
David: When do you want to do this.
John: Hell, let's go ahead and get this over with tonight.
David: Tonight, John we can't do this in one night.
John: The hell we can't, I ain't gonna waste days pouring over this for a few million bucks.
David: John?
John: Forget man, let's get started the quicker we get this over with the quicker I can go to sleep. First, we need a setting.
David: How bout New York.
John: Nah, that will be too much work. You have to secure sections of the town you are going to shoot in and getting all those extras. Somewhere smaller so we don't have to change sets alot. Somewhere where we can only have a few people, less than a hundred.
David: How about a train?
John: Nope, too romantic. Too roomy too.
David: Plane?
John: Perfect. So we have a place. what is going on there?
David: Damn that's big question.
John: Yeah I know, but keep it simple. I don 't want a complicated plot. Just somebody trying to kill someone else. Things like that.
John: I got it. One man is trying to kill another man.
David: It took you all that time to think of that. What's the hook?
John: Hook?
David: What makes this different from any other movie about killing a man.
John: Since when do movies have to be unique or original?
David: I got it maybe the one man is using a wierd weapon to kill the other man.
John: Okay, Okay. I am with you so far.
David: What if it is a tiger?
John: On a plane, what are you smoking?
John: I do like the animal idea though, but go smaller.
David: Rats
John: No
David: Snakes
John: No, ..... wait. Snakes sure that could work. CGI snakes though.
David: Of course, who wants to spend all day around real snakes, probably couldn't get them to do what you wanted anyway. Besides with all the money were getting paid we can make some little snakes look good. Have you seen what Peter Jackson is doing with a giant ape.
John: We could make them look real, but that take time and money. I don't think I want to spend money on that and I know I don't want to take the time to do it right, that could take over a year in post.
David: So we have snakes on a plane, what are we going to call it.
John: Snakes on a Plane.
David: Yeah, what are we going to call it.
John: Snakes on a Plane, that's what we are going to call it.
David: Simple and catchy I like it. But still?
John: What?
David: This is pretty stupid.
John: Yeah, so.
David: The studio will be upset if it doesn't make some money. People aren't going to watch it when they hear how stupid it is and see how bad the effects are.
John: Well, tell you what. Let's get a recognizable star to be in it.
David: Well, it can't be anybody to picky.
John: True.
John: Hey, I got it. Who has been in more movies since 1990 than any other actor.
David: Don't know?
John: Well, does these help, Amos and Andrew, Fluke, The Great White Hype, Shaft, The Man.
David: Wait, Sameul L. Jackson.
John: Sure why not, he made Deep Blue Sea, and that could have been called Sharks on a Ship.
David: You know you maybe right, I bet he would do it.
John: Sure he would, now where is your computer let's write this down.
Forty-five minutes later.
John: Well, that should do it.
David: Damn, we wrote it all in under an hour. Do you think this is how most movies get started.
John: David, have you been to the movies lately? I think we put in more work on this than most filmmakers do.
John: Well, that's all for me, I am going to bed. I'll call New Line tomorrow.
David: I'm going then. Call me when we need to meet with them.
I only wish the preceding transcript was a work of fiction.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0417148/maindetails
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Sour Grapes
I promise this is the last post where I will talk about the Oscar's. I don't know why it is, but the Oscar's this year have had such a hard time going away.
Annie Proulx is the author of the short story that was the basis for Brokeback Mountain. She believes that Brokeback Mountain was robbed of the Best Picture Oscar. I would like to first share a few quotes of her's with you.
Annie Proulx is the author of the short story that was the basis for Brokeback Mountain. She believes that Brokeback Mountain was robbed of the Best Picture Oscar. I would like to first share a few quotes of her's with you.
We should have known conservative heffalump academy voters would have
rather
different ideas of what was stirring contemporary culture.
Roughly
6,000 film industry voters, most in the Los Angeles area, many
living
cloistered lives behind wrought-iron gates or in deluxe rest-homes, out
of
touch not only with the shifting larger culture and the yeasty ferment that
is America these days, but also out of touch with their own segregated
city
And rumour has it that Lions Gate inundated the academy
voters with DVD
copies of Trash - excuse me - Crash a few weeks before the
ballot
deadline.
And that was it, three awards, putting it on
equal footing with King Kong.
When Jack Nicholson said best picture went to
Crash, there was a gasp of shock,
and then applause from many - the choice
was a hit with the home team since the
film is set in Los Angeles. It was a
safe pick of "controversial film" for the
heffalumps.
Wow! What a bitch!
I have already made my thoughts on the Best Picture Oscar known, but that isn't even why I am posting this. You know there have probably been many pictures over the years that thought they diserved to win and didn't. But I can't recall one other instance where someone involved with the picture took this kind of spoiled brat attitude about it.
She insults voters and other movies. She appears to be mad that voters preferred the other movie, if Crash was so unworthy why was it even nominated. But more importantly has she even given any thought to the people that worked on Crash. There were people there that worked hard, believed in what they did, and believe they deserve the award they won. Ms. Proulx is just pissing in their faces and pissing all over their accomplishment to make her selfish ass feel better. The voters job is to vote for what they think is the best picture hence the title BEST PICTURE. Their job is not try and please one bitter old skank. I am certain to her Brokeback was the best picture and if she had a vote I am sure that is what she would have voted for. I would also like to point out something in her remarks, it is not Academy voters job to be in touch with society, their job as I have stated is to pick out which movie they liked better, who gives a damn what everyone else likes. If we picked out what everyone else like then the highest grossing movie of the year would always win the Oscar.
Another thing is why is she dragging King Kong into this. What did Kong do to her and her precious movie to warrant being dragged through the mud by Ms Proulx. It wasn't even nominated for Best Picture and she still has to directly insult it. I guess she thinks Brokeback Mountain should have won those Oscars too, Best Special Effects: Brokeback Mountain.
Okay she can be mad at the voters, that is fair. God knows I am still mad at all the Bush voters from the last election. What is a real problem for Anne Proulx is calling Crash, Trash. It is not Crashes fault that you lost, if you don't like the movie that's fine, but the movie and the people involved with it didn't do anything to you, even if Lion's Gate distributed copies of it, you should know enough about the movie business to know that has nothing to do with the people who made Crash, you cantankerous old bat.
You may have noticed that I insulted Anne Proulx profusely through this article. Let's say I have lofty goals and hope by some miracle she ends up reading this and gets either hurt or insulted. Do unto others as they deserve, and maybe she deserves a good hard slap across the face. Then again maybe she just needs to get laid.
Also, if you are afraid that I might be taking her out of context and making her look bad for my own benefit here is her Guardian article.
http://film.guardian.co.uk/oscars2006/story/0,,1727312,00.html
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
George Clooney is the Coolest Celebrity Ever!
"I would say that, you know, we are a little bit out of touch in Hollywood every once in a while. I think it's probably a good thing. We're the ones who talk about AIDS when it was just being whispered, and we talked about civil rights when it wasn't really popular. And we, you know, we bring up subjects. This Academy, this group of people gave Hattie McDaniel an Oscar in 1939 when blacks were still sitting in the backs of theaters. I'm proud to be a part of this Academy. Proud to be part of this community, and proud to be out of touch."
The is a snippet of George Clooney's acceptance speech at the Oscar's, I was instantly reminded of Michael Moore trying to get across a point like this a couple of years ago and going about it all wrong and pissing everyone off and insuring his place as an Oscar blooper. But Clooney did it with style and the crowd loved him.
At the Oscar's all the presenters and winners get a gift bag. This bag is filled with all kinds of expensive little goodies. Alot of the people that win these awards aren't multimillionaire celebs, but most are. The value of this year's bag was estimated at $180,000. Well, Mr. Clooney decided that since he makes close to twenty million dollars a movie and could afford to buy this bag if he wanted to that maybe it could serve a better purpose. He decided to give it to the united way to auction off, the money will benefit the United Way Hurricane Response and Relief Recovery Fund. How cool is that? I salute you Mr. Clooney.
There are many other things I have admired Clooney for over the years. Alot of very public fueds with Bill O'Reilly, most of which George Clooney got the better of, or at least came off looking better. I loved the fact that he made a small joke at the Golden Globes to the effect that why would someone with the last name of AbramOFF name their son Jack. Funny, but simple, still the family of Jack Abramoff got offended and demanded an apology, and George Clooney's response, NO. It was just a joke and a harmless one at that and he didn't see any reason to apologize.
George Clooney is the perfect mix of class, charm, heart, and nerve. He seems to understand the power of celebrity and uses it responsibly and for good. If we could just somehow instill these values in Britney Spears and Paris Hilton.
The is a snippet of George Clooney's acceptance speech at the Oscar's, I was instantly reminded of Michael Moore trying to get across a point like this a couple of years ago and going about it all wrong and pissing everyone off and insuring his place as an Oscar blooper. But Clooney did it with style and the crowd loved him.
At the Oscar's all the presenters and winners get a gift bag. This bag is filled with all kinds of expensive little goodies. Alot of the people that win these awards aren't multimillionaire celebs, but most are. The value of this year's bag was estimated at $180,000. Well, Mr. Clooney decided that since he makes close to twenty million dollars a movie and could afford to buy this bag if he wanted to that maybe it could serve a better purpose. He decided to give it to the united way to auction off, the money will benefit the United Way Hurricane Response and Relief Recovery Fund. How cool is that? I salute you Mr. Clooney.
There are many other things I have admired Clooney for over the years. Alot of very public fueds with Bill O'Reilly, most of which George Clooney got the better of, or at least came off looking better. I loved the fact that he made a small joke at the Golden Globes to the effect that why would someone with the last name of AbramOFF name their son Jack. Funny, but simple, still the family of Jack Abramoff got offended and demanded an apology, and George Clooney's response, NO. It was just a joke and a harmless one at that and he didn't see any reason to apologize.
George Clooney is the perfect mix of class, charm, heart, and nerve. He seems to understand the power of celebrity and uses it responsibly and for good. If we could just somehow instill these values in Britney Spears and Paris Hilton.
