Brandon's Pop Culture Site

Croc Hunter: Rememberance

2006-09-12T08:58:00.000-07:00

Back in 1996, or perhaps it was '97, I was watching the Discovery Channel as I so often did back then, when I saw a show that changed nature shows for me forever. The show was called something to the effect of "The World's Deadliest Snakes"; it featured an excitable Aussie on a quest to find the ten deadliest snakes in the world. All of which coincidentally enough were located in Australia. But nonetheless I loved the documentary. It wasn't just the snakes, which even then were creatures that fascinated me; it was the more the host.

At that time almost all nature shows were narrated, not hosted. This immediately set this show apart. But more than that the host was exciting and, at the time at least, seemed a little suicidal or at least reckless. He would spot a snake, then give chase, and then pick it up. In the past I had only seen snakes handled with those long snake catching sticks with the hook on the end or by pinning the head and then securely holding it. The host explained that he didn't do this because he didn't want to hurt the snake or put any undo stress on it. Seemed wild at the time, but I really admire that now. He simply held the snake by the end of its tail, not securing those deadly heads at all. When they would strike at him he would simply dance out of the way. The top of this Australian's list of deadly snakes was the Fear snake. A snake whose bite is so deadly that unless antivenin is administered within the hour it is almost always fatal. The energetic Aussie lay down on the ground in front of the snake's hole and while he was talking it slithered out and face to face with the man. The man stilled and became quiet instantly. The snake stuck around for a moment even crawling part of the way in the man's shirt, then left and went about its business. To me, at the time, the man seemed to escape death by the merest breath. This exciting new TV personality seemed one ill timed twitch away from having his new career snuffed out.

A few months later a friend of mine I had watched the documentary with told me that the man had gotten his own TV show on Animal Planet. This at the time was such a young network that no cable company carried it. I thought this was great and hoped I would get to see it. We will never know for sure, but it could be argued that the only reason that Animal Planet survived those first couple of years was because of Steve Irwin, The Crocodile Hunter.

When Animal Planet finally came to me, I drank in every episode of his show eagerly. Even watching them repeatedly in rerun. I was an instant and huge fan. I had always had a special place in my heart for the less cuddly creatures and the enthusiasm Steve had for these animals mirrored my own feelings. It is hard for me to express in words how greatly and deeply his passion affected me. The best I can do is to tell you that I briefly considered both herpetology and wildlife biology as majors when I returned to school, only letting go of these ideas when I realized they would not present the best means of supporting my family. But the seeds of this dream were planted and nurtured by Steve Irwin. Those closest to me probably have some idea of how highly I held the Croc Hunter. One year I received a gift of a toy Crocodile Hunter with one of his crocs, Agro if youre interested. You could press a button on his chest that was disguised as shirt pocket and he would say, "Crikey! What a rippah!". One year there was a contest on Animal Planet to win a trip to Australia to work alongside Steve Irwin in his zoo. I don't usually pay attention to contests, but I entered that one, and dreamed of winning.
I was a fan not just because he was fun to watch, but because of what he stood for. The animals he stood up for were not monsters; they were beautiful in their own way and had as much right to live as the fluffy, cuddly animals. The crocodile is a creature of great awe, an animal so perfectly designed it has existed unchanged since the age of the dinosaur. We shouldn't let fear destroy these animals.

Steve Irwin's popularity amazed me or at least the depth of it anyway. He became so popular that one had to merely utter the word, "Crikey" and you were doing a Croc Hunter impression. He was spoofed on a great variety of shows from South Park to Whose Line Is It Anyway. If mockery is truly the highest form of flattery, then Steve Irwin is most assuredly a loved legend. In the late nineties through the early two-thousands there was an explosion of nature shows. The hosted kind and one can not deny that this was ushered in by The Crocodile Hunter. At one time Steve himself had three different regular shows on the air; The Crocodile Hunter, The Crocodile Hunter Diaries, and Croc Files. And suddenly Animal Planet was full of lots of new faces doing their best to be the Croc Hunter, Jeff Corwin, Mark Oshea, Steve Austin, and many more with varying degrees of success. I dont doubt their passion and authenticity, but none of them were the Croc Hunter. And I have to wonder how many of them would have ever been given a chance if Steve Irwin had not opened the door for them. None of them seemed to have the same air about them as Steve, nor that aura of invincibility. Most of them you just knew that any second they would be bitten by their quarry, with Steve after a few episodes you no longer expected him to be bitten and it was almost a surprise on the few occasions when he was. When watching Steve do his thing you knew he had been doing this his whole life, more than that, you knew he was born to do it.

What have we lost in the wake of Steve Irwins tragic death? We have lost a great individual who stood for a noble cause. A man who tried to educate us, as well as entertain us, on the unrecognized beauty so that we didnt continue to destroy in blind terror. Although our loss can not even begin to compare to that of his family and friends, we still will feel the sting of loss. We will feel it in absence. In the absence of the exciting, respected voice that will no longer be there to speak for those that can't speak for themselves. It saddens my heart to know that I will never get to see The Crocodile Hunter jump on the back of a twenty foot croc or hold a venomous Black Mamba by the tail. He seemed so immortal and invincible, but now the truth comes home. And in this case the truth is a terrible thing and bitter pill to swallow.

I Love Bush

2006-05-11T11:56:00.000-07:00

For those of you that know me well, you know that I am a football fanatic. I love all football and will watch most any game that comes on if it is interesting. But I bleed black and gold, I have been a New Orleans Saints fan all my life. That has always been a thankless job as any other Saint fan could attest to. But that has all changed in one off-season.

I have seen the Saints have some productive off-season in the past. Off-season where they signed Joe Horn, off-season where they have picked up La’Roi Glover, off-season where they drafted Ricky Williams and Deuce McCallister. But this Off-season has been the best for the franchise EVER! First the pick up of Drew Brees through free agency, an underrated addition. The Saints get a lot of credit for that, but not nearly the credit they deserve. Drew Brees instantly made our offense one of the most explosive in league. He adds consistency and good judgement to a position where we have had neither over the last few years. It could be argued that he lacks Aaron Brook’s raw talent. Brooks had tons of talent, but lacked that ability to ever have it translate into success. I will say this for Brooks though, his first season as a New Orleans Saints quarterback was an amazing season, since then his career and the Saints records have done nothing but go downhill. For those of you that are interested, Brooks was released by the Saints and is now an Oakland Raider. The place where a lot of players have managed to revitalize their careers and since that is an AFC team I wish him all the luck. It should be a good fit for him there.

If the Drew Brees acquisition had been the only big pick up this off-season we as Saints fans could have declared the off-season a success, but for what maybe the first time ever, the football gods have smiled on the Saints. Ever since the draft order was known and we knew the Houston Texans were going to have the first pick it has always been assumed they would take Reggie Bush with the first pick. Assumed really is too light of a word to use here, I followed all the pre-draft reporting quite thoroughly, since the Saints were picking second. I must have read every single mock draft, and I never saw one, not one that did not have the Texans taking Bush. Why wouldn’t they?

Reggie Bush is possibly the most exciting player to come out of college football in my lifetime. He has been compared to Gale Sayers and Barry Sanders. But he is really a different kind of player than either one of them. Those comparisons are made because Bush is fast, has great vision, and can change direction on a dime. He is coming into the NFL listed as a running back, but that label does not do justice. Reggie Bush scores touchdowns in too many ways to just be considered a running back. He returns punt and kickoffs, he lines up in the slot as a receiver, catches passes out of the backfield, and he also runs the football. On any given play he can explode and run for seventy or eighty yards. And if he gets into the secondary, nobody is catching him. He is a once in lifetime kind of player that makes his whole team better and causes severe match-up problems for the opposition.

We may never know the true motivation as to why the Texans passed on Bush, it could be the rent scandal his family was involved with the week before the draft or it could be just to save money, but we do know this, they didn’t pass on Reggie Bush and draft Mario Williams because they thought it would make their team better. That line of thinking just doesn’t make any sense. The best person available makes your team better. That was the Saints line of thinking anyway. Did we need a running back, no. Deuce McCallister is our running back, a great running back that we are happy to have. And he will be listed as the starting running back at the opening of the season. In fact this situation is not a lot different than the one Bush had at USC, he was not the only running back there, LenDale White led the team in rushing yards, but Bush led the team with all purpose yards. Mark my words, that is exactly what will happen in New Orleans too, McCallister will lead in rushing, Bush will lead in all purpose.

But there is something more important that Bush brings to New Orleans. Chris Berman of ESPN said after the Saints drafted Bush, "Congratulation New Orleans, you are now on the football map." If you want an idea of what he meant by that just look at Atlanta since drafting Michael Vick. People all over the country wear Vick jersey’s and root for the Falcons because of Michael Vick, same thing for Brett Farve and the Packers. Reggie Bush will and already is doing that for New Orleans. Season ticket orders shot through the roof after the draft, people are already going online and ordering Reggie Bushes Saints jersey, in fact Reebok is already reporting they have sold 15,000 Reggie Bush jerseys sold, and he doesn’t even have a number yet. Hopefully though it will be 5, I could write a whole other blog on that though. He has, without even playing a down in the NFL, completely revitalized the market of my favorite sports team. For that alone he is now my favorite athlete and I will ordering my Reggie Bush jersey this summer, I may even get a little one for my son so we can wear them together on game day.

Peter Jackson Beat Me Up

2006-04-24T09:21:00.000-07:00

This review is a little late coming. I watched King Kong a couple of weeks ago. But you will have to pardon me because it has taken me over two weeks to catch my breath and get my heart rate down.

I spent the first hour of this movie wondering if anything was going to happen and when? And spent the last five hours wondering if it was ever going to stop? The ride this movie carries you on is unreal. There is a great build up in the beginning, which was not boring, but seems so in retrospect. Peter Jackson paints a beautiful landscape before he unleashes his beast upon it. Setting the stage with wonderful shots, most memorably of the ship and the sea and of course the creepy skull island. He smartly establishes his actors very firmly before allowing the monkey to steal the rest of the movie. This way you look back on the film and think Jack Black, Naomi Watts, and Adrien Brody did a fantastic job. If the ape would have came in sooner you would barely remember their characters though. Naomi Watts really stands out in this movie because she really brought her character to life. She stands by her morals early on and displays an always believable and endearing emotional capacity throughout the entire film. I can't say I have been a fan of hers in movies past like I was with Adrien Brody and Jack Black, both of whom I remember fondly from other pictures. Naomi Watts has made many pictures most of which I have never had any interest in watching. The only real point of reference I had for her going into the movie was The Ring, a movie which I loathed but thought she did an okay job in. But she did a great job in King Kong of establishing herself as an up and coming actress, by playing an actress who is trying to be up and coming.

Now the second part of the movie. I don't know what to write here. I really don't. It was simply amazing. Kong shows up in the movie with still two hours to go, but those are two hours you barely notice. There is no chance to turn and look at the clock, or desire to. When Peter Jackson decides to start throwing punches he doesn't quit. Peter Jackson is also not content to just physically excite you, he excites you emotionally. Getting you behind characters and leaving cheering and screaming at your television. The battle between the one hundred T-rexes and Kong was not only intense, Jackson did a fantastic job of making it harrowing by letting you experience it not just from Kong's perspective, but from Ann's also. Later you found yourself cheering for Adrien Brody in his attempts to rescue Ann, but at the same time you felt pity for Kong.

There is little I can say about the special effects that hasn't already been said. Peter Jackson is the new Steven Speilberg and George Lucas. Only he may actually be better. Kong looked and acted so real that during the movie you could actually suspend belief and accept that there might be an island somewhere with a giant ape on it. But to continue to harp on the emotional aspect, Kong's emotional depth is what really brought him to life. His curiosity at finding Ann. His rage at those who would take her away, and in what maybe my favorite scene his humor at watching Ann amuse him. I am not sure who should get the credit for all that, Peter Jackson, Andy Serkis, or maybe just the CGI team, but bravo.

The single biggest surprise of the movie was the ending. Yes I knew how the movie would end, but what amazed me was that even knowing this I was touched by the ending. It was very sad and very beautiful. This was Naomi Watts finest moment in the movie, she was the one who really sold the end, although once again that deeper emotion than I was expecting was right there in Kong.

One criticism of King Kong I have heard it that it was just "too much". I can see that and can understand how that would hurt the movie for some. That too much factor was a good reason why I loved it. Too much makes me want to see it again to see all that I missed. Too much was a nice surprise when so many movies offer too little. But it does make it hard for anything to stand out in a movie with too much.

One last thing, for all my pop culture knowledge, for all my ability to notice sublte influences in other movies, for all my expertness on picking up the roots and branches of films. I never realized until I watched this version of King Kong that Jurassic Park: The Lost World was a homage to King Kong. How did I not notice that? That couldn't be more obvious and yet somehow I missed it? My powers, they are failing.

Brokeback Mountain: A Chick Flick With No Chicks

2006-04-17T09:45:00.000-07:00

Okay, it had women in it. In fact, despite being a gay cowboy movie, it had boobies in it too. Not only did it have boobies it had Anne Hathaway's boobies. If you don't know her by name she is that bubbly girl from such Disney movies as The Princess Diaries and Ella Enchanted. I would have to assume that exposing your breasts in a gay cowboy movie means you have to give up the right to be in Disney movies for the rest of your life.

I knew from the get go that this movie was not going to be easy for me to watch. As liberal as I am, and as non-homophobic, I still find it to be a little gross for two men to be kissing. And this movie worked quickly to not alleveate these fears. Not more than twenty minutes into the film there were Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal kissing and buggering each other. Luckily the roughest stuff to watch was over early. I would compare this to Saving Private Ryan in that sense. Sure there was a bit of gore throughout Saving Private Ryan, but they packed the worst hardest to watch stuff right at the beginning. Brokeback Mountain did this too, the first thirty to forty-five minutes was uncomfortable to say the least. The rest of the movie was about this theme, but it was blessedly free of the most uncomfortable stuff, you know, like two guys buggering each other.

I didn't hate the movie, but I didn't like it either. In the end it was just a romance movie. A romance combined with a tragedy. Let me give praise where praise is due though first. Heath Ledger was amazing. Until this movie I didn't like Ledger and did not think him much of an actor, but his performance is amazing and totally believable. Gyllenhaal was good, but nothing special. The other notable performance was Michelle Williams as Ennis Del Mar's(Ledger) wife Alma. She unfortunately suspects what is going on between her husband and his fishing buddy and spends the movie in anguish grappling with this knowledge. Her character is as tragic and the two lovers who can never really be together. Ang Lee's direction was simply beautiful. The shots of the landscapes and the scenery were breathtaking. The music was so perfectly blended in the movie that it affected your emotions and much as the performances did. My only complaint to Mr. Lee would be that the film was about thirty or forty minutes too long. My wife lost all interest by the time end came. And it was a great ending, not the best I have ever seen, but a great ending nonetheless. I was almost as bored as my wife, but I did find myself touched by the end of the film. Without that ending the movie would have slipped below mediocricy, but the end elevated it to atleast average in my opinion.

It was boring, despite the good characters it was very boring at one point. When you even try to remember the movie after watching it you can't recall what happened for about an hour and a half in the middle of the movie, because it seemed to go nowhere very slowly. The beginning of the movie does not prepare you or set the groundwork for Ennis's and Jack's romance. One night the two characters are lying in a tent. Not more than three or four days from having met. One minute they are asleep the next they are buggering each other. That is far from the reluctant setup you would expect from outdoorsmen in an era of sexual repression. Also, I have a social objection to this movie. First let me state that I am a liberal. Why should we be praising and feeling sorry for these characters and there love we dare not speak of. When they first meet Ennis is engaged to be married. After their wild summer and by the time the two meet again both men are married with children. For years after they carry on this secret affair. Maybe I am looking at this all wrong, but an affair is still an affair even if you are having sex with someone of the same gender. I know the morals of our country are always questionable, but isn't sleeping around on your wife still a bad thing. I do realize that these two didn't feel they could ever be together and they tried to get on with their lives and be as normal as possible, but their wives are paying the price for societies bigotry and their husbands lusts. But like I said maybe I am missing the point somewhere. I am all for gay rights and social acceptance and I am glad this movie brought those issues to the forefront for a while. I am most hopeful that the movie can touch some of the people that see homosexuality as wrong and maybe make them rethink these thoughts. But if you are just looking for a good, entertaining movie, maybe you should rent King Kong instead.

I hoped I could write this article with out bringing up the word Oscar, but I can't I have to say this. The Academy of voters got everything comepletly right. Ang Lee won for best director and as well he should have. The movie was beautiful and wonderfully shot. Paul Haggis did a great job with Crash, but Ang Lee did a better job with Brokeback Mountain. Crash was the better of the two pictures on almost every level. People want to attribute social signifigance to Brokeback, but it is not as strong laid out in the movie as you have been led to believe. You don't watch this movie and think, "Damn, why can't society be more accepting of homosexuals?" You simply think, "Damn, was that sad." Crash left you think and pondering the way you interact and think of people of different races, and isn't that what a socially signifigant movie does, leave you thinking and questioning. Crash was more entertaining and while that isn't the only factor, to me it is the most important. Crash has excitement, a little humor, and scenes that leave you an emotional wreck, "Thank god for invisible magic capes." When you watch Crash you feel you watched something important, when you watch Brokeback Mountain you feel like you watched a slightly above average romantic tragedy.

I Believe This is One of the Signs of the Apocalypse

2006-04-03T09:27:00.000-07:00

A transcript of a momumental event has come into my possession and I want to share it with. The setting is the apartment of John Heffernan. Late one night about two years ago he was hanging out with a friend of his, David Dalessandro.

[Something being lit and inhaled, although both men are known non-smokers]

John: Hey dude, got some big news.
David: Really, what?
John: You are not going to believe this man.

[inhaling]

David: Stop dicking around and tell me man.
John: New Line Cinema just gave me a shitload of money to write a movie.
David: Kick ass, what movie, what's it about?
John: Don't know, they said they didn't care, they would make whatever I gave them.
David: Well, surely you got some kind of idea what they want?

[more inhaling and coughing]

John: No really man, they don't care. They said the movie business is going right down the crapper and I think they blame themselves. So they decided to take themselves out of the equation and just let someone else take a shot.
David: Wow, that is awesome, but why you?
John: Same reason I just gave, they want new blood, someone fresh.
David: But John, you have never wrote anything. I mean back in high school I know you did some writing for your school paper. I mean was it any good, can you write?
John: Nah, I sucked at it then and I can't imagine that I would be any good now. Besides they said all I had to do was come up with the idea and write a rough draft they would get someone else with a little background in writing to help me out.
David: John, this is so awesome, congratulations.
John: Yeah, I know, and you know what man.

[more inhaling]

David: Huh?
John: I want you to help.
David: Wait John, I have never written anything in my life, nothing.
John: How many times do I have to tell you it don't matter. I got a lot of money and I am offering it to you just to help me come up with an idea. So you in?
David: Well,....sure, why not.
John: Great.

[long silence]

David: John
[silence]
David: John!
John: Sorry I kinda zoned out there for a minute.
David: When do you want to do this.
John: Hell, let's go ahead and get this over with tonight.
David: Tonight, John we can't do this in one night.
John: The hell we can't, I ain't gonna waste days pouring over this for a few million bucks.
David: John?
John: Forget man, let's get started the quicker we get this over with the quicker I can go to sleep. First, we need a setting.
David: How bout New York.
John: Nah, that will be too much work. You have to secure sections of the town you are going to shoot in and getting all those extras. Somewhere smaller so we don't have to change sets alot. Somewhere where we can only have a few people, less than a hundred.
David: How about a train?
John: Nope, too romantic. Too roomy too.
David: Plane?

[inhaling]

John: Perfect. So we have a place. what is going on there?
David: Damn that's big question.
John: Yeah I know, but keep it simple. I don 't want a complicated plot. Just somebody trying to kill someone else. Things like that.

[long silence and more inhaling]

John: I got it. One man is trying to kill another man.
David: It took you all that time to think of that. What's the hook?
John: Hook?
David: What makes this different from any other movie about killing a man.
John: Since when do movies have to be unique or original?
David: I got it maybe the one man is using a wierd weapon to kill the other man.
John: Okay, Okay. I am with you so far.
David: What if it is a tiger?
John: On a plane, what are you smoking?

[both men laugh heartily]

John: I do like the animal idea though, but go smaller.
David: Rats
John: No
David: Snakes
John: No, ..... wait. Snakes sure that could work. CGI snakes though.
David: Of course, who wants to spend all day around real snakes, probably couldn't get them to do what you wanted anyway. Besides with all the money were getting paid we can make some little snakes look good. Have you seen what Peter Jackson is doing with a giant ape.
John: We could make them look real, but that take time and money. I don't think I want to spend money on that and I know I don't want to take the time to do it right, that could take over a year in post.
David: So we have snakes on a plane, what are we going to call it.

[silence]

John: Snakes on a Plane.
David: Yeah, what are we going to call it.
John: Snakes on a Plane, that's what we are going to call it.
David: Simple and catchy I like it. But still?
John: What?
David: This is pretty stupid.
John: Yeah, so.
David: The studio will be upset if it doesn't make some money. People aren't going to watch it when they hear how stupid it is and see how bad the effects are.
John: Well, tell you what. Let's get a recognizable star to be in it.
David: Well, it can't be anybody to picky.
John: True.

[inhaling and silence]

John: Hey, I got it. Who has been in more movies since 1990 than any other actor.
David: Don't know?
John: Well, does these help, Amos and Andrew, Fluke, The Great White Hype, Shaft, The Man.
David: Wait, Sameul L. Jackson.
John: Sure why not, he made Deep Blue Sea, and that could have been called Sharks on a Ship.
David: You know you maybe right, I bet he would do it.
John: Sure he would, now where is your computer let's write this down.

[sounds of typing and murmuring]
Forty-five minutes later.

John: Well, that should do it.
David: Damn, we wrote it all in under an hour. Do you think this is how most movies get started.
John: David, have you been to the movies lately? I think we put in more work on this than most filmmakers do.

[yawning]

John: Well, that's all for me, I am going to bed. I'll call New Line tomorrow.
David: I'm going then. Call me when we need to meet with them.

I only wish the preceding transcript was a work of fiction.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0417148/maindetails

Sour Grapes

2006-03-29T09:55:00.000-08:00

I promise this is the last post where I will talk about the Oscar's. I don't know why it is, but the Oscar's this year have had such a hard time going away.

Annie Proulx is the author of the short story that was the basis for Brokeback Mountain. She believes that Brokeback Mountain was robbed of the Best Picture Oscar. I would like to first share a few quotes of her's with you.

We should have known conservative heffalump academy voters would have
rather
different ideas of what was stirring contemporary culture.

Roughly
6,000 film industry voters, most in the Los Angeles area, many
living
cloistered lives behind wrought-iron gates or in deluxe rest-homes, out
of
touch not only with the shifting larger culture and the yeasty ferment that
is America these days, but also out of touch with their own segregated
city

And rumour has it that Lions Gate inundated the academy
voters with DVD
copies of Trash - excuse me - Crash a few weeks before the
ballot
deadline.

And that was it, three awards, putting it on
equal footing with King Kong.
When Jack Nicholson said best picture went to
Crash, there was a gasp of shock,
and then applause from many - the choice
was a hit with the home team since the
film is set in Los Angeles. It was a
safe pick of "controversial film" for the
heffalumps.

Wow! What a bitch!

I have already made my thoughts on the Best Picture Oscar known, but that isn't even why I am posting this. You know there have probably been many pictures over the years that thought they diserved to win and didn't. But I can't recall one other instance where someone involved with the picture took this kind of spoiled brat attitude about it.

She insults voters and other movies. She appears to be mad that voters preferred the other movie, if Crash was so unworthy why was it even nominated. But more importantly has she even given any thought to the people that worked on Crash. There were people there that worked hard, believed in what they did, and believe they deserve the award they won. Ms. Proulx is just pissing in their faces and pissing all over their accomplishment to make her selfish ass feel better. The voters job is to vote for what they think is the best picture hence the title BEST PICTURE. Their job is not try and please one bitter old skank. I am certain to her Brokeback was the best picture and if she had a vote I am sure that is what she would have voted for. I would also like to point out something in her remarks, it is not Academy voters job to be in touch with society, their job as I have stated is to pick out which movie they liked better, who gives a damn what everyone else likes. If we picked out what everyone else like then the highest grossing movie of the year would always win the Oscar.

Another thing is why is she dragging King Kong into this. What did Kong do to her and her precious movie to warrant being dragged through the mud by Ms Proulx. It wasn't even nominated for Best Picture and she still has to directly insult it. I guess she thinks Brokeback Mountain should have won those Oscars too, Best Special Effects: Brokeback Mountain.

Okay she can be mad at the voters, that is fair. God knows I am still mad at all the Bush voters from the last election. What is a real problem for Anne Proulx is calling Crash, Trash. It is not Crashes fault that you lost, if you don't like the movie that's fine, but the movie and the people involved with it didn't do anything to you, even if Lion's Gate distributed copies of it, you should know enough about the movie business to know that has nothing to do with the people who made Crash, you cantankerous old bat.

You may have noticed that I insulted Anne Proulx profusely through this article. Let's say I have lofty goals and hope by some miracle she ends up reading this and gets either hurt or insulted. Do unto others as they deserve, and maybe she deserves a good hard slap across the face. Then again maybe she just needs to get laid.

Also, if you are afraid that I might be taking her out of context and making her look bad for my own benefit here is her Guardian article.

http://film.guardian.co.uk/oscars2006/story/0,,1727312,00.html

George Clooney is the Coolest Celebrity Ever!

2006-03-28T07:00:00.000-08:00

"I would say that, you know, we are a little bit out of touch in Hollywood every once in a while. I think it's probably a good thing. We're the ones who talk about AIDS when it was just being whispered, and we talked about civil rights when it wasn't really popular. And we, you know, we bring up subjects. This Academy, this group of people gave Hattie McDaniel an Oscar in 1939 when blacks were still sitting in the backs of theaters. I'm proud to be a part of this Academy. Proud to be part of this community, and proud to be out of touch."

The is a snippet of George Clooney's acceptance speech at the Oscar's, I was instantly reminded of Michael Moore trying to get across a point like this a couple of years ago and going about it all wrong and pissing everyone off and insuring his place as an Oscar blooper. But Clooney did it with style and the crowd loved him.

At the Oscar's all the presenters and winners get a gift bag. This bag is filled with all kinds of expensive little goodies. Alot of the people that win these awards aren't multimillionaire celebs, but most are. The value of this year's bag was estimated at $180,000. Well, Mr. Clooney decided that since he makes close to twenty million dollars a movie and could afford to buy this bag if he wanted to that maybe it could serve a better purpose. He decided to give it to the united way to auction off, the money will benefit the United Way Hurricane Response and Relief Recovery Fund. How cool is that? I salute you Mr. Clooney.

There are many other things I have admired Clooney for over the years. Alot of very public fueds with Bill O'Reilly, most of which George Clooney got the better of, or at least came off looking better. I loved the fact that he made a small joke at the Golden Globes to the effect that why would someone with the last name of AbramOFF name their son Jack. Funny, but simple, still the family of Jack Abramoff got offended and demanded an apology, and George Clooney's response, NO. It was just a joke and a harmless one at that and he didn't see any reason to apologize.

George Clooney is the perfect mix of class, charm, heart, and nerve. He seems to understand the power of celebrity and uses it responsibly and for good. If we could just somehow instill these values in Britney Spears and Paris Hilton.

Forget the cinema, stay home and watch Desperate Housewives!

2006-03-23T08:31:00.000-08:00

There has been much said over the last couple of years about the decline in movie attendance. My own thoughts on the matter are if they made better movies more people would go and watch them, but I think it goes farther than that too. Television right now is better than it has ever been in my lifetime. I find myself all too often at home with a movie and deciding that I would rather watch a new episode of The Sopranos, House, or The Shield.

Recently at the movies we have seen The Pink Panther and Failure to Launch as box office successes. Now I realize I should hold my critiquing of these movies until after I have seen them, but I feel pretty safe in saying that the story, acting, and intangiable interest factor for these movies can not be as good as say The Sopranos. Television has become everything that once made movies the preferred form of entertainment. The quality of actors on television is prime cut, and the directors and writers of television seem to have more of a grasp on how to tell a story and keep the viewer entertained and well as keeping them on the edge of their seat.

What we have is the return of watercooler television. Many days I go to work or hang with friends and discuss the last episode of CSI, Sopranos, The Shield, or Prison Break. Consistently for the last couple of years Lost and Desperate Housewives have kept the audience so riveted that it has become all but impossible to avoid hearing what happened on the last episode. When was the last time a movie came out that everyone couldn't stop talking about, Titanic, The Matrix, Lord 0f the Rings. Television is starting to turn these shows out by the dozen.

Where have all the great iconic movie characters gone. It seems that all the best characters in cinema today where created in literature of some form originally. If your looking for great enigmatic, engaging characters these days your best bet to find them is to turn on your television. James Gandolfini as Tony Soprano, Hugh Laurie as Gregory House, Michael Chiklis as Vic Mackey, William Peterson as Gil Grissom, all these actors were for the most part failed movies stars, at least in the sense that nobody in film wanted to take a chance on them now they are all emmy and/or golden globe winners. And there has been a lot of well known movie stars turning toward television as well, Steve Buscemi on The Sopranos, Glenn Close on The Shield, Gary Sinese on CSI:NY, here they have found different levels of success, Glenn Close was emmy and golden globe nominated. But the acting in television is as good and in many cases better than in cinema.

The acting is important but the writing is what is really setting television apart right now. The last couple of years has seen the birth of some great concepts in an attempt to lure audiences away from the stupid, mind-numbing, pointless reality television. 24 is a show done in real time(kind of anyway), Prison Break is a show center completely around the act that it's name implies. Someone threw out the cookie cutter that television shows used to be made from, well maybe they gave it to the movie industry instead.

I don't mean to say that there aren't any movies out there worth seeing, there are. I myself am looking forward to when King Kong comes out on DVD next week. I am looking very forward to X-Men 3, this summer, and I am on pins and needles for Spiderman 3 next summer. Our recent Oscar winner Crash was not just one of the best movies I saw last year, it is one of the best movies I ever saw. But there are fewer of these kinds of movies these days. All I am saying is if you want to make an investment in your entertainment forget a movie ticket or netflix, buy a TiVo.

Do They Think We are Blind or Just Stupid?

2006-03-13T11:59:00.000-08:00

I don't know how many of you are aware of it, but there is a new and horrible trend among DVDs. I have to wonder why I have not read about it yet and have only discovered it by accident. I can only believe that there has not be a public outcry because of it due only to the fact that most people have not even really noticed it yet, or if they have that they only thought it was an apparition that they wouldn't see duplicated in a long time, well I am here to tell you it is real and this is not a one time problem.

The last two DVDs I purchased were Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire and Batman Begins. Both of them shared and unexpected thing in common. The DVDs were bought the first week of availability and they both contained only the movie. No special features to speak of, no second disc, not even an option on the menu that said "Special Features". Neither disc possessed so much as a theatrical trailer or cast and crew. There was absolutely nothing but the movie.

I have watched over the years with disgust as movie companies kept putting out new editions of DVDs, "Special Editions", "Collector's Editions", "Platnium Editions", "Betcha don't have this one and will shell out thirty bucks Editions". Somehow or another always finding new footage that they can shove in there to make diehard fans shell out some more hard earned money. They will continue to do this until we say "Enough!".

I wouldn't have given my Batman Begins too much thought, but only a couple of weeks after I bought it, I was in Sam Goody's and saw another edition with a second disc full of special features. This is not years later, only weeks later. They are shortchanging the diehard, gotta-have-it-today fanatics, which is in essence their bread and butter. Talk about cutting your nose off to spite your face. But we let them get away with it, why? Because we want everything they have to offer.

Now my Harry Potter DVD is still too new to actually know whether or not this trend will actually continue the way it has been, maybe they will actually wait a few months to put out the better edition. I watched Toy Story 2 get released three different times. First on it own, then as a "Collector's Edition" and then as a boxed set. Of course historically speaking Disney has been the greatest offender of making the most off of it's movies.

There is a possibility that for the moment this new trend is relegated to only one cinema. Both Batman and Harry Potter movie franchises are owned by Warner Bros. So maybe this is just there plot alone, but I am sure that the other cinemas are waiting on pins and needles to see if this works. And if people fall for it you can be sure that the others will take the opportunity to cash in. They are trying still to recover from low movie turnouts of the last few years. Of course they would seize on the this chance, instead of trying to make up lost revenue by doing something constructive like making better movies.

In the end, I guess they see us as nothing more than sheep and think we are willing to graze on any pasture they set us on. My way of making sure they don't win in this is to not by any other edition of a movie after I buy the first. I think most people feel this way too, but they will still put them out hoping to lure a few in. This new trend bothers me so bad I guess, because now my dollar truly buys less. I was always comfortable with knowing that there would be a newer edition with more features. I bought the last two Lord of the Rings movies with this knowledge and never thought twice about it. But now I am not even getting the bare minimum of features. Not even a trailer, you have to be kidding. What if they stopped serving happy meals with a toy? The only movies that are allowed to have no special features are bargain bin movies, but I am only paying six or seven bucks for them. Friday I dished out twenty bucks for a subpar Harry Potter movie with no other redeeming qualities. How come the only part of DVD technology that is not getting cheaper and better is the movies? That doesn't make any sense.

I am not asking them to stop with all the editions, I doubt that will ever happen, but I do ask that they either stop this despicable trend of offering less for the same price, or at least advertise it on the front of the case or display, if they had I wouldn't have bought it.

Harry Potter Broke My Heart

2006-03-13T10:22:00.000-08:00

Over the weekend I bought and watched Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. From this point on BEWARE SPOILERS.

I have very mixed feelings about this movie. It was very fun to watch and over the top in a very good way. The special effects were amazing and pure eye candy. The cast, for the most part, was a stellar as always. New additions Ralph Fiennes and Brendan Gleason are of particular note. Much like anything done from a novel you have read, you enjoy getting to see what you have only pictured in your mind. And there is nothing quite like when they get something just as you have imagined through your minds eye, and there were quite a few of these occurences.

I am not going to blast the movie too hard. Probably not even as hard as it deserves. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire is not only my favorite Harry Potter book, it is one of my favorite books period. It broke my heart to see how the story was picked over and torn apart. Every side story that made the book the crown jewel of the Harry Potter collection were missing here. The story of Rita Skeeter (who only had two speaking apperances in the movie), the story of Ludo Bagman(who wasn't even in the movie) and how he welched on a bet with Fred and George, and most disheartening of all no Dobby, Winky, or S.P.E.W. There was also only the briefest signs of Sirius Black who was the most main character missing from the story. I know that the book was very long and there was no way to get everything in the movie, but also given the time they put into changing the story so it would work without the house elves it seems they could have put them in the movie without actually adding any time. At two hours and thirty-nine minutes the movie is not short by any definition, and it is such a fast paced story that the time flies. Another hour would have gotten it right though, and that could have at least been part of the DVD release. The movie was so fast paced that it seemed to forget to explain things properly, I have read the book and could understand what was happening, but I can not imagine how someone who has not read the book could follow the movie, in fact I had to stop it twice and explain to my wife and stepdaughter what was going on. That is not just a bad adaptation, it is bad storytelling. I have one last bone to pick with this movie here. Up until this movie I have thought the cast for Harry Potter possibly the best book-to-movie cast ever. Until now everyone had looked like J.K. Rowling had described them, but they decided this time to fix what they believe in their minds to be her mistakes(I guess that is what they did). Mad-Eye Moody's magical eye is not a patch, it is an eye in the socket. Viktor Krum is tall, lanky, and when not on his broom clumsy, Harry describes him as "Duckfooted", in the movie we were treated to an undersized, muscular, graceful, cool, stud. Cedric Diggory is very athletic looking and has a friendly face, I guess it would be a judgement call on the face, but the movie Cedric was thin and wiry. Madam Maxine is in fact a foot or so taller than Hagrid in the book, but she is also as big around as Hagrid is, in the movie she was very, very thin. I applaud them on Rita Skeeter and Barty Crouch though, they were up to the high standards set in the previous Potter movie installments.

I realize most of this is a little nitpicky, but I am not judging them against any standard they hadn't previously set in the earlier movies and like I said there is a part of me that liked the movie. It was fun, but just as much fun as it is to see something when they get it right, it is equally as distressing to see something when they get it wrong. I am worried about and looking forward to the next film in equal measures. But there is no denying I am looking forward to the next book a million times more.

What was everyone else watching?

2006-03-07T07:39:00.000-08:00

Sunday night I was sitting at home watching the 78th Annual Academy Awards. Apparently, judging by the ratings, I was in the minority. Also, unbeknowist to me there was a second Oscar broadcast going on at the same time. I am not exactly sure what this second broadcast showed, but it couldn't have been good.

In this second broadcast, the show's host Jon Stewart, was unfunny, not getting any laughs. Also, he was overly political and used this forum to attack the Republican party and the current administration. Which is a blatant misuse of power in a night where we are suppose to be talking about movies. I am glad I didn't see this Stewart, it would have hurt me. I am a big fan of his and the Stewart that I had the pleasure of watching was the same Jon Stewart I have come to know and love from The Daily Show. He made a few political jokes, but like always his barrels were aimed squarely at both parties taking shots at Dick Cheney's shooting and then joking how voting for the Oscars was the only time liberals get to vote for a winner. The Stewart I didn't see offended many people and the audience was ready to attack him and banish him from the show. The Stewart I saw got lots of laughs and seemed to brighten up a rather dull show. Even causing the often hard to please Jack Nicholson to remark about the fantastic job Jon Stewart did. I can only imagine on the broadcast I didn't see that Jack Nicholson rushed after Jon Stewart wielding a golf club or axe right after the broadcast was over.

Another thing I must have missed was that different movies with similar themes were apparently up for Oscars at this second broadcast. Because during the second broadcast a subpar, unworthy film about racism in Los Angelos won the Oscar for best picture. Strangely enough this movie was called Crash. During the Oscar ceremony I saw a movie named Crash about racism in Los Angelos won the Best Picture Oscar. But this movie was a moving and powerful picture as worthy of an Oscar as any I have seen in recent years. I can't say I saw any of the other nominees, but I am sure that most if not all of them are fine pictures equally as worthy of an Oscar. Sometimes it is hard to chose between a Forest Gump, Pulp Fiction and The Shawshank Redemption, or a Shakespeare in Love or Saving Private Ryan, and the sad fact is someone has to lose. I must say I am a little touched though, I didn't realize the world cared so much for gay cowboys. But, in the Oscar broadcast I saw we applaud the winner and we applauded the losers, we knew that the vote could have gone the other way, and if it had we still would have applauded.

I am very glad that I didn't see this other show, it sounds like it was very disappointing. I think I will set my DVR next time though, so I can atleast see what I am missing. All I saw Sunday was a talented host doing what he does, doing what makes people love him, and alot of very good actors and movies win and lose awards, gracefully both ways.

Brief Oscar Thoughts:

I was happy to see Philip Seymour Hoffman win, but disappointed that Joaquin Phoenix couldn't have won. Even though I haven't seen either one of their nominated movies, I am long time fans of both.But both can't win, but Acamedy you are on notice Joaquin deserves an award, of course you have been on notice ever since he didn't win for Gladiator.
Apparently Reese Witherspoon has grown as an actress in ways I haven't seen. Granted I don't watch alot of her movies. But I thought if you made a movie like Legally Blonde you gave up all future rights to an Oscar. I guess I wasn't too surprised by her win though, critics had been predicting it for weeks. I just don't know how she seemed to have a deadlock on the award, but I will reserve judgement for when I have actually seen Walk the Line. I was rooting for Felicity Huffman, I love my Desperate Housewives.
"It's Hard out here for a Pimp" won best song. Seriously, WTF? This is the first rap song to ever be noimated for an Oscar. I am guessing that is why it won, so Oscar could catch up a little to mainstream America. But personally I thought the song and the performance of it at the oscars stunk, but to tell you the truth I wasn't really impressed with the others either.
Award Count: Brokeback Mountain-4, Crash-3, Memoirs of a Geisha-3, King Kong-3. That strikes me as odd, Brokeback and Crash were the titans going into the Oscars, but Memoirs of a Geisha and King Kong weren't even nominated for any of the big Oscar's, but walked away with plenty of small ones.
How did Cinderella Man get so overlooked as to only get two nominations and no wins. And when in the hell will they let Paul Giamanti win something, Sideways was a well recieved and loved movie last year largely overlooked and this year his performance in Cinderella Man earned him Supporting Actors nods everywhere, but no wins that I saw.
Am I the only one who was not impressed by Lily Tomlin and Meryl Strepp. They are actors and they acted, big deal. It wasn't really that impressive. On the same note was Lauren Bacall nervous, she sure stumbled over her words alot.
Am I the only one who doesn't like one single Robert Altman movie?
Do you realize they could cut the Oscar's down to two hours and make people more interested if they stopped the clip montages and took out the awards that no one understands or likes, Film Editing, Foreign Language Film, Animated Short, Art Direction, Cinematography, Documentary Short, Sound Mixing. Here's a tip most people don't know what a Cienematographer actually does and people think Sound Mixing only occurs in movies like Jurassic Park. The only reason why people pay any attention to these awards are to see if their movie wins, so just hand out these awards early and tell us who one, or have a second Oscar broadcast on the Science Channel or Discovery Tech, called the Technical Oscars. The other awards give them out earlier we don't give a shit, we don't these people or movies are we aren't going to watch them. That might sound cruel, and I am sure they are talented and worked very hard, but so are some garbage men, but we don't give them awards on television and let them speak for two minutes. No one would care.
Reese Witherspoon's acceptance speech seemed heartfelt and sincere and I am not complaining about that. But it was almost three and a half minutes long. When Crash won the Big One they spoke for ninety seconds and then was drowned out by music. That hardly seems fair. I know they were running long, but if you give Reese Witherspoon three minutes the biggest award of the night should have at least just as long.
I hope, I hope, I hope Jon Stewart is back next year. I doubt he helped boost ratings in any demographic for the Oscars, in fact he probably hurts the older demographic. But hey we had to put up with Billy Crystal on the Oscar's for years because old people love him, well I think he is boring and I utterly hate his musical numbers. Now is the time for a smart comedian who can do current cutting edge humor with out the muscial numbers.

James Frey's Mistake

2006-02-12T10:50:00.000-08:00

You may be thinking that James Frey’s mistake was writing a nonfiction book with lies in it. But I would have to disagree with you there. There have been many memoirs over the years that have been called into question as being truthful. I would be willing to wager that in almost ninety percent of memoirs there is some embellishment going on. In the end the writer is trying to sell books. In one of the most famous biographies of all times Mason Weems tells of a young George Washington who upon cutting down a cherry tree stood before his parents and declared, “I cannot tell a lie.” Apparently Mr. Weems didn’t have such qualms about telling lies because we now know this for the utter fabrication that it is. In many early twenty century so-called biographies wild west outlaws and heroes lives were recalled, all their harrowing adventures and great quotes, the only problem is the writers of these books didn’t even seem to make an attempt at getting the stories correct and after a while Wyatt Earp became as much of a fictious character as a historical one. Still today we are trying to sift between the truth and legend of many historical figures. Now don’t misunderstand I am not trying to condone James Frey’s lies, my only point here is if you read an autobiography or biography and believe every word and account in it you are dangerously naïve, but if any of you are interested I will gladly sell you the Brooklyn Bridge. A writer’s job is to tell a story people want to hear, fiction or non-fiction. But there is an even more core thing here too; people will lie, especially about themselves. There is not a person reading this who hasn’t been telling a story about themselves and made themselves sound better than what they actually were, or sometimes in case worse than they actually were, I myself have uttered the phrase, “I almost died.” This is harmless enough, but probably not technically true. One could say that there are two engines that drive us to do this, one is the need of self-preservation and the other is the need for attention. Depending on where your moral line is, you will tell a lie that you believe is in your best interest and/or is harmless. So America stop acting shocked at what Mr. Frey did, most of you have done it to, the only difference is you probably didn’t make money on it.

No, lying wasn’t James Frey mistake, character flaw maybe, but not mistake. His mistake was apologizing on Oprah. No from what I saw that wasn’t an apology as much as a tongue lashing and “Boo”fest. James Frey sat there like a whipped puppy and took the scolding and apologized profusely the whole time and made himself look like Oprah’s bitch. At first you may not think this is a mistake, but him trying to make amends.

Last year the only book to self more copies than A Million Little Pieces was Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince. That is no small feat for a nonfiction book, but there is a very easily stated reason for this. Oprah added it to her book club and raved about ceaselessly. Oprah is very powerful and influential and her voracious fans ate it up, buying the book in hordes. Mr. Frey had already milked that cow dry. If James Frey had gone on Oprah and the second she started to go off on him jumped up Jerry Springer style and got right back in her face to the point that he had to be hauled off the stage by security, that would have been the clip on the news for the next two months and every one of us that doesn’t like Oprah and got a kick out of watching him go off on her would have run out and bought the book. It would have probably been bought by people that were neutral on Oprah as well, out of sheer curiosity. He probably would have doubled his profits and more importantly it would have helped him on his next book.

Let’s face facts, no matter how good his next book is, it will be a cold day in hell before Oprah puts her stamp of approval on it. He has zero chance of getting back into that country club, but he could have created a new base by standing in defiance of Oprah. And apparently those that were his new fan club wouldn’t be shocked if we found out his next book was bull too. Now I am guessing that he harbors some hope that he can get back into Oprah’s inner circle and he probably didn’t realize how much of a pussy he would look like on her show. I can’t say that I blame him, Oprah is powerful and influential and any book that she signs off on is a bestseller, I am sure the temptation to get back on her good side was powerful. But not trying to create a new fan base was a mistake.

It could still be fixed though Mr. Frey. I submit to you that you should go on Howard Stern and go off on Oprah. Howard Stern will probably help and more importantly you will get Oprah’s attention again and she will denounce you as a heretic on national television. It will make all the news shows for at least a week, and new fans will pick up your book just to spite Oprah. Think about Mr. Frey.

Does the end justify the means?

2006-02-10T06:42:00.000-08:00

The last two movies I watched were similar in a fundamental way, while being very different. The Skeleton Key and The Constant Gardner are two movies you will never find next to each other at Blockbuster, but these movies due share something in common. Neither was very good, but both had excellent endings.

The Constant Gardner was a very confusing and hard to keep up with movie. If you are not familiar with it, Ralph Fiennes plays an English diplomat in Africa whose wife is murdered and he spends the movie unraveling the secrets of her life and the secrets of her death. I wouldn't go so far as to say this movie is bad, it was in fact a very well put together story and Ralph Fiennes is always amazing. The problem really comes from the fact that the filmakers are trying to put together a rollercoaster ride where every minutes brings a new surprise, this might have succeeded except that the movie was so hard to follow that you spent every minute thinking about what happened in the previous minute. So you constantly feel like you are playing catch-up with the storyline. But if there is a redeeming quality to all this it is the ending, which was excellent and since there was no new information to process I was able to give all my attention to and enjoy.

The Skeleton Key starred Kate Hudson and I was never sure what this movie was trying to be. The previews made it look like it might be a horror movie, it wasn't. The tone of the movie early on made it feel like a thriller in the grand tradition of M. Night Shyalaman, it wasnt. I had begun to believe it was just a drama, it wasn't. In all fairness the movie had aspects of all of these and I feel that the filmmaker was trying to blend this together seamlessly, which didn't work. The problems with this movie are too many to name, but I will name a few of the most prominent and most distracting. The acting is atrocious, Kate Hudson is not only the star of this movie, she is the only person here who acts like they have been in a movie before, but don't take that as too much of a compliment to her, she wasn't that good either. The single biggest problem with the movie is simply how the story is held together. Greeks used to call upon the Deus ex Machina whenever their heroes got into spots they couldn't get out of or when they could think of no other way to advance the story. Here the Deus ex Machina is the main characters nosiness, which is insurmountable in size. There must be a dozen places where the story could have hung up and died, but Kate Hudson's character would then do something that would make you scratch your head and say, "Now why the hell is she doing that? That doesn't make any sense." In Stephen King's Misery, Annie Wilkes gets angry at Paul for bringing Misery Chastain back to life by unfair circumstances, Annie Wilkes would have kicked out her television had she been watching this movie. But just like a really long flight to a really beautiful place, once you get there you are happy, and I have to say that when you get to the ending and understand what is going on(and that does take a second) it is somewhat satisfying. Now I can't under good conscience tell you dear reader the ending and I also in good conscience can't recommend this movie, but if you want to know the ending you will just have to sit through 99 minutes of crap for the last good 5 minutes. It is painfully apparent when you have watched this movie that the person who wrote it obviously had the ending first and worked his way back, I think under better writing this might have been a really good movie.

So constant reader I will leave you with the question that is the title of this post. Does the end justify the means? These aren't the first bad movies to have good endings, my mind harks back to the 1980's and an early Kevin Costner movie called No Way Out. A movie with a stellar cast, but a confusing and slightly boring story, a movie similar in these regards to The Constant Gardner. Both had great acting, both were confusing, both were a little boring, but both had great endings. Also, Edward Nortons first movie a Richard Gere thriller called Primal Fear, it had an excellent ending the only problem was, when I got there I no longer cared. I will say this in favor of these movies, they atleast have a hook. The concept of Cat in the Hat was to dress Mike Myers in a cat outfit and watch him run around, there was no story to go with it. Another concept, let's milk eighties nostaligia for a fast buck by bringing back the Orange Charger and putting two dreamy guys in it for teenage girls and a dimwitted beautiful starlet in short, short, short, shorts in it for the teenage boys. How about this concept lets take a CGI kangaroo, but one with some street appeal, in fact let's make him a rapper, and we will put a sweater of money on him and let two nitwits try to catch him, but he is a sly, streetwise Roo. I am sure you can see where this is going by now, atleast if a movie has a good ending it doesn't feel completely like you've wasted your time, not all of it anyway. I just wish they could all be like an M. Night Shyalaman movie or The Usual Suspects, I like being surprised and shocked, but boredom is not the emoition I want to precede these reactions. If you got to take a flight to a resort far away, you might as well fly first class.

Best of 2005

2006-01-23T05:39:00.000-08:00

Best movie
Crash- This movie really affected me, you can probably find a little of yourself in one of these characters. But this movie might make you thing about how you treat people of different races or how society treats them. Mostly it’s my pick because of that one scene where my heart stopped and a scream stuck in my throat, if you’ve seen it you know what I am talking about, if not go watch it and find out.
Honorable Mention
Cinderella Man – It was hard to not pick this movie, which was equally inspiring, and had the better acting to.

Best Television Show
Lost- This is probably the ultimate what is going to happen next show. As the season wore on it just kept getting stranger and more amazing. But it was the characters that kept you coming back for more, they were deep and real.
Honorable Mentions
House- Hugh Laurie is the best actor on television today and is the only reason why you should watch
Desperate Housewives- There is probably so many reason why I, as a guy, should hate this show, but great writing, great performances, and the funniest show on tv this year.

Best Album
The White Stripes “Get Behind Me Satan” – Jack White is the greatest musician of our time. He somehow manages to re-invent himself on every record and it works. Everything is top quality on this album and every track rocks.
Honorable Mention
My Chemical Romance “Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge” – Read my review in previous post.

Best Video Game
God of War – This might be the greatest game ever, it doesn’t do anything revolutionary it just perfects everything it does. Great script with great voice acting and you cherish every battle. It was never so much fun to be so brutal.
Honorable Mention
Resident Evil 4 – More of a co-winner really, in any other year that didn’t have God of War this would have been my game of the year. It is the best Resident Evil yet, by miles and that is no small feat either. Not scary really, but amazingly fun.

Best Book
Note: most of the books I read in 2005 weren’t published in 2005, my winner was, but my honorable mention was just read in the year
J.K. Rowling “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince” – what can you say about these books that hasn’t been said before. Simply amazing, impossible to put down. And the ending, Holy Shit. But it was bittersweet seeing as how this next to the last book.
Honorable Mention
Dan Brown, “Angels and Demons” – I didn’t like it as much as “The DiVinci Code”, but it was still an amazing ride. I don’t know how Dan Brown does it. His books are so complex, but he makes you understand them so well.

The Most Pleasantly Surprising Album of 2005

2006-01-03T06:55:00.000-08:00

Pick of the Week
My Chemical Romance "Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge" - With a small amount of my Christmas money that my family gives me in loo of any presents I decided to take a chance on this CD by this new band. At the time their song "The Ghost of You" is going around mildly on the radio and more majorly on the video channels. Now before I go any further with praising this album let me say that this was not the best album of 2005, that honor would have to go to The White Stripes "Get Behind Me Satan", but My Chemical Romance "Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge" doesn't miss the mark set by The White Stripes by much. And My Chemical Romance has something that might even be better than the best album, they have the most pleasantly surprisingly good album. I don't expect alot from new artists, if they can put two good songs on one album they live beyond my expectations. In this day and time I believe we have witnessed the death of the great albums. There is no motivation for record companies to put out great albums, nobody is out there buying CD's anymore. Nowadays songs are downloaded, so it is not about selling the album any more it is about selling the song. Do you realize that Gwen Stefani's "Hollaback Girl" was the most downloaded song of last year, but the Cd that the song came from never made it to number one on Billboard (peak position No. 5).
So I don't expect entire Cd's to be good anymore, but I was most pleasantly surprised by My Chemical Romance. I had heard three songs from the Cd and that is why I bought it. I said to myself, "Well at least I like those songs." Now not every song on here is an instant classic, but that is not the point. Every song on here is good, and more importantly the Cd seems to have some thought put into the arrangement of songs. There is a natural flow to this album that is all the more uncommon today. On your second trip through the Cd you start to realize that every song is put exactly where it should go. That the album was meant to be enjoyed as a whole because though each song is a jewel on its own, it is together that they really shine. Now there is no real way to give you an idea of what to expect in way of their sound. The accomplish what few other artist accomplish. Each song is unique with its own sound and feel, the songs in the purest sense are meant to convey emotions and they do that wonderfully and as different as happy is from sad, so is "Give'em Hell Kid" from "The Ghost of You", they are meant to convey a different feeling and they fully suceed in that respect. They also do something else that sets them apart from the average run of the mill band these days, they play guitar solos, I know many of you might be saying "So what.", but to me that is a big deal. I love and miss a good guitar solo. Now no one is going to mistake Ray Toro for Jimi Hendrix but he isn't bad and the solos also sadly short and simple fit the songs well. There isn't much more I can say, but do yourself a favor and check out this Cd, listen to it with an open mind, it is different, it isn't like everything else you hear on the radio, it is inspired and great. My Chemical Romance is slowly making a name for themselves and if they continue to put out music like this the world will have to take notice.

2005-12-20T08:36:00.000-08:00

I thought that since I am addressing my deep, sincere, important thoughts in another blog that it might be fun to create another blog for my less important, but passionate opinions about movies, music, television, books, and video games. I have always said that I am a fountain of knowledge about pop culture and though I do not watch as much television, or movies, or listen to as much music as I used to I still know a good deal about it.

I think what I going to do is give you some movies, television shows, albums, and books you should check out and some you shouldn't. Also, maybe some random thoughts and articles as they come to me and as they seem relevant.

I think I am going to have a lot of fun writing this, I hope you enjoy it and find some of the things I say helpful, because I know I don't get to watch as many movies as I once did and I hate wasting my time on a bad movie.

PICK OF THE WEEK

Cinderella Man - As of now this is not just my pick of the week this is my pick for the Oscar. This movie is really as good as it was billed. Back in June when this movie came out, it didn't do too well at the box office. AMC offered a money back refund to anyone who watched the movie and didn't like it. I know that if people were honest than this bounty would never be collected. This movie tells the inspiring Riches-to-Rags-to-Riches story of James Braddock. I don't want to divulge alot of the plot, but the life of this movie comes from a man's unwillingness to give up in the face of any adversity. Russel Crowe is probably the greatest actor of our generation and this movie just goes farther to establishing that point. He is at his best. Paul Giamatti has been an actor long overlooked by hollywood, but with the sucess of Sideways last year people are finally starting to take notice and he turns in the best performance I have yet to see in his career in this film. He has come along way from playing PigVomit in Private Parts. Renee Zellwegger too is great, not Cold Mountain great, but great nonetheless. She is a great compliment to Russell Crowe in this film. I am not up on my James Braddock history so I don't know how accurate this movie is, and I don't care, it's a great story and script. I have said nothing of the boxing scenes yet, they are intense and awesome. They aren't quite on par with the boxing from Million Dollar Baby, yeah it still amazes me that the best boxing I have ever seen in a movie is female boxing, but that don't change that fact. But the boxing in Cinderella Man is better than average and probably a close second to Million Dollar Baby. In the end this movie will leave you with a warm fuzzy feeling that will last. If this movie doesn't move and inspire you, than you're dead. But if this movie by some chance does will the best picture Oscar, you realize that next year we will be bombarded by bad boxing movies.

Turd of the Week

The Last Episode of Prison Break - I got addicted to this show very quickly and easily this season. If you are unfamiliar with it here's a quick synopsis. Lincoln Burrows is convicted of killing the Vice President's brother and sentenced to execution, His brother Micheal Scoffield (different fathers) believes his brothers innocence and plans an escape of his brother from a prison he helped design. The first step in this plan is to get blueprints and other information he needs tatooed to his body, all of this is hidden among other tattoos. The second step is to get thrown in the same jail as his brother. This he does. Meanwhile Lincoln's ex-wife also believes in his innocence and just so happens is a lawyer, she is working on the outside to find out how and why Lincoln was setup, and to try to get him out. There is alot more going on than just these things though, there were twists and turns around every corner all season. Wentworth Miller is the star of the show and he is excellent. I was hooked all year, I tivoed the show everyweek and watched it on tuesday. It is not that I couldn't have watched it on Monday, but I prefer to watch it on Tivo because I can skip the commercials. Okay, now here is my problem with the last episode. The show is called Prison Break, the premise is breaking out of prison. There are two people working to free Lincoln from two different angles. Scoffield working from the inside out to break him out. And Veronica working from the outside in to prove Lincoln's innocence. They could have let Scoffield and Lincoln escape and spend the next season following them on the run, while Veronica and the guys work to prove Lincoln's innocence. Atleast something would have been resolved at the end of season one. As it was Lincoln did not break out and was not proven innocent. Scoffield was stopped in his escape attempt and Veronica found out that the conspiracy against Lincoln is much deeper than she thought. How can you end a season without resolving anything? That being said I will be there at the start of next season and I can't wait to see what is going to happen, but I felt so teased at the end of last season. My prom date got me all excited in the car and then left, she is promising to give me some next time, but that doesn't help me right now. This is a minor complaint to a great show, I would have alot more compliments than complaints. But to the producers don't do this to me next year. I anxiously await next season. Power to the people. Free Lincoln.